Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Imagine, if you can, being Colin Campbell these days.

Among your many tasks with the National Hockey League is the job of deciding when to levy supplementary discipline for a rule infraction.

Regardless of who that player is, and how heinous their on-ice crime may have been, immediately one of the thirty teams, and their fan base, and the media that covers them, will believe you to be a complete idiot.

If you choose to suspend that player, but only a couple of games, then the team, fans and media of the player aggrieved will also believe you to be a complete idiot.

If that player transcends his team, then more fans, and more media, will share that opinion.

As Colin Campbell, when you have had to let a number of on-ice incidents slide because of a variety of factors, then you are accused of applying a “wheel-of-justice” approach to discipline.

Regardless of the logic that you apply to each individual incident, your work as the league disciplinarian will be looked at as a whole, as the media and fans apply the auteur theory to your rap sheet.

You cannot win working under these conditions, because there is no way you’re going to come close to pleasing the majority of hockey people.

So, instead, you have to do what you think is right, what you think is just.

It doesn’t help things when you pass on slapping Matt Cooke of the Penguins on the wrist for his blind-side hit on the Bruins’ Marc Savard…and then only a week later, the league’s premier superstar, Alex Ovechkin, forces you to suspend him for a couple of games for basically a hit from behind on the Blackhawks’ Brian Campbell, on a nationally televised game between two of the league’s top teams.

It doesn’t help when the likes of Washington Capitals’ owner Ted Leonsis publicly muses about the Ovechkin hit, and wonders why the NHL MVP is told to sit for a couple of games, but Cooke gets nothing.  (Then again, as good an owner as Leonsis is, nothing is ever wrong with his team.  Every loss can be explained.  Ahh, newbies).

It doesn’t help when the chattering classes of the internet point out that your son, who plays for the Florida Panthers, will “benefit” from not having to face Ovie when they play the Capitals this week, as ridiculous a claim as there is, but some still went there   (Ahh, idiots).

I don’t know about other North American sports, but it’s always amazed me how hockey fans honestly believe they each know what is best for the sport.  That passion, as blind and as pig-headed as it often is, reminds me of the passion of European soccer fans.  Now, we haven’t taken to the worst excesses of that species yet, though a stroll through the myriad of team-themed on-line sites may suggest those days are inching closer.

Personally, I seem to disagree with Colin Campbell on roughly a third of his calls, though all things considered, I thought the league would pass on a suspension for Ovechkin; a plausible argument can be made either way.

I also have a theory that many in the NHL, maybe even Campbell himself, like the very rough stuff, the play that goes over the line.  No, they don’t want to see anybody seriously hurt, but a little ultra-violence never hurt the ratings now, did it?

What I do like about Campbell is that he sticks his chin out there after making a judgement, and stands by it.  It doesn’t appear as though he sticks his finger in the air to judge which way the wind is blowing, despite what you or I might personally believe.  The two-game suspension to Ovechkin might be an exception, but hey, we all answer to other people in whatever line of work we are in, so maybe his hand was forced.

Some will say that is a good thing.  Some will say idiot.

The life of Colin Campbell.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Terry Jones appears courtesy of the Edmonton Sun

Bruce Boudreau said it’s like traveling with John, Paul, George and Ringo.

“I’ve seen a lot of documentaries on the Beatles — and it looked a lot like this,” the Washington Capitals head coach said yesterday, describing what it was like in Vancouver the night before the game.

“The Canucks had just beat us and yet people are 100 deep around our bus chanting ‘Ovie! Ovie! Ovie!’ We couldn’t get up the road.

“I know it was like this with Wayne Gretzky … I’m guessing this was very Gretzky-like.”

Boudreau was asked if he ever thought he’d see this kind of reaction to a Russian hockey player in Canada.

“No,” he replied.

And he says he’s not quite sure if he wants to see it again.

Full Story

Terry Jones appears courtesy of the Edmonton Sun

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

All-Hit Hockey, all the time.  Give the people what they want.

Almost to a person, any hockey fan I’ve spoken with loves the rough stuff.  No, not the silly staged stuff…fighting…but the rough stuff.

The big hits, the little hits, the scrum in front of the net, digging for the puck in the corners, the constant down-low battles for position;  remove these elements from the game, and you’ll severely cripple hockey.  Even if you’re a fan who watches the game for breathtakking exhibits of skills such as tape-to-tape passes, any radical dialing down of hitting in hockey serves to curtail the beauty of other aspects of the game.

In what manner, you ask?  If by only cheapening them, for a large part of what makes a beautiful goal such a beautiful work-of-art is the stressful conditions under which it was scored.  The gifted player can somehow find room to negotiate out there, creating something out of nothing.  If every player could do that, would it be so special?

This argument in no way intends to suggest that we should have less goals scored; if anything, we need more skilled players and more scoring in the league. But don’t just hand it to them on a silver platter.  They have to earn it.  Hockey is still a combination of skill and size, brains and brawn, creation and intimidation.

Here are five hits, or examples of physical contact, in the past week that have come under the microscope:

- Willie Mitchell on Jonathan Toews

- Evgeni Artyukhin slew foot on Matt Niskenen

- Alexander Ovechkin slew foot on Rich Peverley

- Tuomo Ruutu hit on Darcy Tucker

- Mike Richards hit on David Booth

Each incident has to be viewed, and initially judged, separately.  Where the real fun begins is in the reality that no matter how clearly one spells out the definition of illegal hits in the National Hockey League, it is impossible to get everyone to agree on the legality and severity of most hits.

Take the case of Willie Mitchell of the Vancouver Canucks levelling Jonathan Toews of the Chicago Blackhawks.

From my perspective, which translates to absolutely no rooting interest for either team or player, it was a clean hit.  Devastating, yes, but within the rules of the game of hockey.  Not within the rules as in one toe almost over the line, but comfortably within the rules.

From what I could see, Mitchell didn’t run at Toews, didn’t leave his feet, didn’t put his elbow or stick up, and Toews was in possession of the puck.  It was a clean open-ice hit.

It hurt Toews, to the point he had to sit out after that, but hockey is a rough, physical game.  Even Chicago head coach Joel Quenneville was quick to dismiss any talk of it being a dirty hit.

No suspension was warranted.

The hit by Mike Richards of the Philadelphia Flyers on David Booth of the Florida Panthers was also devastating, but to my eyes, it was a late hit.  Booth had dished off the puck, but even at the high speed that the game is played at, Richards had enough time to ease up on his contact.

He chose not to.

The key is to watch the replay in real-time, not slow motion.  The very act of you opening your own front door, when viewed in slow motion, would look like a criminal act.  Slow motion is good in helping determine factors involved in a questionable hit, such as leaving the feet, or position of an elbow, but since life doesn’t happen at that languid pace, to properly and fairly judge an act on-the-ice, it must be watched in real-time.

Even then, Richards still had time to ease off.  If anything, it appears, and I stress APPEARS, as if Richards elevated himself just enough to take a shot at Booth’s head.

Regardless of the validity of that last statement, Richards still delivered a late hit.  Sure, you can drag out the hoary reply that Booth should have been aware of everyone around him, but he can’t watch all five Flyer skaters.  Richards came out-of-nowhere and decked him, when he didn’t have the puck, which is against the rules.  This is not a repeat of the Mitchell hit on Toews.

A suspension is warranted.

The Tuomo Ruutu hit on Darcy Tucker of the Colorado Avalanche certainly appears to be a hit-from-behind to me, though not a seemingly devastating one.  Nonetheless, Tucker was hurt on the play.  Many are saying that there was no intention by Ruutu to injure Tucker, and from what the video replay reveals to me, I’d agree with that sentiment , but should that matter?

Someone is going to get seriously hurt in one of these scenarios in the future, and unless there is a zero tolerance to hits from behind of any magnitude, yes, even accidental ones, then prepare yourself for an onslaught of handwringing when they’re putting some stiff six feet under the day after such a hit.

Ruutu was suspended three games.

As it was a hit-from-behind, regardless of intention, the suspension was warranted.

The Evgeni Artyukhin slew foot on Matt Niskenen of the Dallas Stars is clearly that, an attempt to take the player’s feet out from under him.  Even if Artyukhin claims post-game, as he has, that that is not what he intended, the video evidence (thanks YouTube) shows otherwise.  The danger of the ages-old slew foot is having the duped player bounce his head off the ice.  In this instance, Niskenen fell onto his front, predominantly on his left arm.

The three-game suspension was warranted.

Maybe it helps being a superstar, because Alexander Ovechkin slew footed Rich Peverley of the Atlanta Thrashers, and was not suspended.

And you know what, he shouldn’t have been suspended.  The league got this one right.  Carefully watch the video, at real-time, and do you not see Peverley and Ovechkin battling for the puck, and the momentum of Ovechkin’s body carrying into Peverley, and upending him?

There was no slew foot delivered in the manner in which Artyukhin took out Niskanen.  From what I can recall, Ovechkin received a penalty, which was a good call; even an accidental trip is still a trip, but this incident was the direct result of a typical battle for the puck during a game.

Ovechkin is a supremely talented player, and he likes to engage in physical play, and every so often, the chippy side of him emerges.  One day, he’ll get under someone’s skin out there, and they will retaliate.  Fans of the Washington Capitals get all apoplectic when this is mentioned, but they are clearly thinking with their hearts, and not their heads.

Regardless…in this instance, no suspension was warranted.

The thing is, in all five instances, someone else could look at the very same video I just watched, and legitimately come up with five different conclusions.  That is what makes policing this game so difficult.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Instead of coming up with a semi-accurate, half-hearted definition of what constitutes a superstar, let’s consult a dictionary.  Since it’s 2009, let’s thumb through an on-line edition.

Superstar, according to Merriam-Webster Online:

• Function: noun
• Date: 1924

1 : a star (as in sports or the movies) who is considered extremely talented, has great public appeal, and can usually command a high salary
2 : one that is very prominent or is a prime attraction <a diplomatic superstar>

When the Dany Heatley trade to San Jose was finally completed over the weekend, a number of sports news services identified Heatley as being a superstar.

A superstar?  Really?  Sure, only two other NHL players have scored more goals since the lockout than Heatley, but does he meet all the qualifications required in order to wear the superstar crown?

From my vantage point, a superstar in any milieu transcends their surroundings.  In other words, even your dear Aunt Gertie that doesn’t like sports knows who, say, Alexander Ovechkin is, and probably has an opinion about him.  Don’t get her going on the hot stick celebration.

Following that line of thinking, I propose that there are currently only two NHL players that are bigger than the sport.

Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby.  The ying and the yang.  The Beatles and the Stones.  Mario Lemieux and Wayne Gretzky.

Evgeni Malkin should be considered, if only because his on-ice talents are so immense, and only getting stronger, but I haven’t seen any tangible evidence that supports his inclusion into the select club of superstars.  If on-ice talent were the only yardstick being applied, then Pavel Datsyuk or Ilya Kovalchuk, and maybe Dany Heatley, would have to be included.

Where these gentlemen fall short for serious consideration of being called a superstar is this section of the definition:

has great public appeal

Keep-in-mind every individual franchise has a player or two that is held very close to the bosom of the local fanbase, and as such, their respective values are usually inflated.  For instance, Rick Nash of the Columbus Blue Jackets can be one of the most exciting players in the league today.  His YouTube-ready goals, where he dekes through half the team, and some of the guys up in the press box, are a beauty to behold, and understandably, the faithful in Ohio would clamour that Nash is a superstar.

The argument is all context.  Within the world of the Blue Jackets, Nash is the face of the franchise, thus he is a superstar.  Within the expanded world of the National Hockey League, Nash is one of the young stars that make the game so exciting to watch.  You could make a credible argument that Nash is an NHL superstar.

You would have to work awfully hard to convince me that Nash, or Heatley or Datsyuk or Roberto Luongo, are true superstars.  They do not transcend the game of hockey.  Within the hockey world, they are larger-than-life.  Outside of those cozy borders, they would be lost, unrecognizable to the average person walking down the street of any American city.  For that matter, the majority of non-hockey fans in Canada wouldn’t recognize them either.

Put Ovechkin or Crosby in downtown Manhattan (without the Zamboni in Ovechkin’s case), or on Manhattan Beach in Southern California, or in surburban St. Louis or at the Steak ‘n Shake in Battle Creek, Michigan, and most likely both of these dudes would be recognized.

For a variety of reasons, Ovechkin and Crosby are currently bigger than the game of hockey.

That doesn’t mean they’re better or smarter.  That doesn’t mean we should all bow down and praise them (though maybe we should for all the attention they bring to the game).  That doesn’t mean that their opinons are sacrosanct.  So before the mouthbreathing bloggers of the cyberworld get their shorts all in a knot, keep this sobering thought in mind.  Most likely your favourite player is a nobody outside of the world of hockey.  That’s not the case with Ovechkin and Crosby.

Why these two?  Well, we’ve already listed awesome on-ice talent as one major factor, but they have to have more than that.  Both young men have been marketed very successfully, in particular Crosby, who became the face of the NHL as it emerged from the 2004-05 lockout.

Ovechkin basically elbowed his way onto the marquee, and his fun-loving flair that he paints everything he touches with cannot be denied.

The camera likes both of these guys, for different reasons.  The media likes both of these guys, for different reasons.  Hockey fans are drawn to these two guys, for different reasons.  Love them or hate them, you’re talking about them.

Thus it comes as no real surprise that the sports media sought out Crosby and Ovechkin to get their opinions on the recent firing of NHLPA head Paul Kelly.  Some hockey fans ridiculed the need to ask these two particular players their personal opinions.  Where did they get off thinking they were bigger and better than the game?

Well, they don’t think that.  Neither player put out a press release saying “come and talk to me about Paul Kelly”.  It was only natural for the media to beat a path to their doors, because when these two young men speak, people listen.

Much like when a young Wayne Gretzky, after another blowout win over the woeful New Jersey Devils, called the Devils a Mickey Mouse organization.  No truth to the rumour that’s what got Michael Eisner interested in hockey.

Much like when a younger Mario Lemieux, tired of carrying a couple of clutching-and-grabbing defencemen on his back almost every time he broke into the offensive zone, openly questioned the NHL about their lack of enforcement of their own rule book.

The hockey, and sports world, listened.  And yes, some people complained then that Gretzky and Lemieux should just shut up and play the game.  What makes these whippersnappers think they’re bigger than the game?

(There are reactionaries everywhere).

Both players were right. Bang on.  And both were right to speak out.

So when Ovechkin tells espn.com that even if the NHL decides not to participate in the 2014 Winter Olympics, he still plans to go…well folks, that’s news.  Washington Capitals’ owner Ted Leonsis, one of the more progressive owners in the league, did his best to downplay the comments, but the desired effect was already achieved.  It got people, and no doubt the players, thinking about the issue.

Once again, Ovechkin elbowed his way in.

With all due respect, Dany Heatley does not have that same ability.  Nor has he asked for it; if anything, he seems rather happy not to be in the spotlight.  Ovechkin craves it, while Crosby understands he’s been thrust into it since an early age.  Both men handle the spotlight differently, and they handle it well.

Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby are the only two true superstars in the league today.  Now what remains to be seen is if they can transcend North American popular culture.  Arguably, only two NHL players have ever reached those lofty heights.

Bobby Orr and Wayne Gretzky.

Particularly Wayne Gretzky.  The Great One is still the face of hockey for most of the world.

We tend to throw around words carelessly.  The word great has been mostly stripped of its power.  Anyone that is in the public eye is a star.  In the sports media, we have also devalued the word superstar.  I am trying to reclaim it for those few worthy enough to wear the crown.

Ovechkin and Crosby.

If you don’t like it, deal with it.  You might want to start by shunning all popular media in North America.  No doubt you’ll be seeing the faces of these two men plastered all over television, and magazines, and posters, and websites for the better part of the next decade.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Before they dropped the puck for Game Seven on Wednesday evening between the Penguins and the Capitals, NHL.com had been running a poll, asking fans to choose the greatest seven-game playoff series in NHL history.

The 2009 Pens and Caps were leading, by a considerable margin, over the Red Wings and Avalanche brawl earlier this decade.  All the seven-game classics that occurred before the year 2000 received less and less of the vote as they got smaller in the rear-view mirror.  Guess most of us oldtimers either don’t know how to switch on a computer, or were too busy being six feet under (personally, I voted for the Boston Bruins-Montreal Canadiens series from 1979, the infamous Too Many Men On The Ice series.  That entire series was top-notch hockey).

Well, casting a vote for the current Pens-Caps series before Game Seven was even played was like opening your Christmas presents early.  Not on December 24th, but on December 19th.

In order for this to truly be considered the “Greatest Seven-Game Series in NHL History”, it had to deliver when it mattered most…Game Seven.

Well, so much for that.

What a let-down, unless, of course, you bleed Penguin blue, or whatever it is Penguins bleed.  A 6-2 romp by Pittsburgh in the deciding game immediately puts this series near the bottom of the five or six previous series that were in that NHL.com poll.

Yes, it was a great buildup, through the first six games, thanks to high-tempo play and three overtimes, and lead changes, and Crosby and Ovechkin, and the young goaltenders, and the history of hate between these two franchises.

But it was, in the end, not to be.  The Ron McLean’s and Don Cherry’s can whine on and on about the slashing call on Shaone Morrisonn that led to the powerplay that led to the first Pittsburgh goal, but here’s the thing boys.

Whether you personally like it or not, the officials have been calling that call all season. No, not every time.  But that’s the tricky thing about the NHL.  By now, the players know that it might be called a penalty, so they can’t plead ignorance of the law when it is called.  You take a chance delivering a slash.  No matter how light, no matter how seemingly inconsequential, you take your chances.  And tonight, the Caps got burned.

What really sunk their boat was the second goal only eight seconds after the first.   The Craig Adams shot the kid should have had.

Still, the fire-wagon Capitals, the most exciting team in hockey, as we’re told over and over and over again, had plenty of time to respond, and failed to do so.  Sure, the team they were facing are a very good, and deep team.  It wasn’t going to be easy.  But here’s where legends are born, forged from the fire of adversity.

All that was forged were the bad cheques that promised that this was the greatest series ever.

You can’t hang this series loss on Varlamov.  Without his goaltending, the Capitals don’t get this far.  Probably they lose, in five, to the stinkin’ New York Rangers.  Sure, the kid should have had at least that second goal, but he picked up the Caps a number of times in the past month.  It was time for his teammates to return that favour.

So whine all you want about the officiating.  Chant “Crosby Sucks” until you’re rockin’ the red in the face.  The fact remains, the better team won.

And, for now, Crosby got the better of Ovechkin.  Both are world class players.  Both are already superstars at such an early age.  Both performed, for the most part, at an elevated level throughout this series, which was the number one reason why it was a delight to watch.  Yet, to me, Crosby delivered a bit more than Ovechkin.  That may be the result of the team systems employed, but Crosby always looked like he’d plow through a wall, the goaltender, the Zamboni and his grandmother to score a goal.

Crosby at times looks like the world’s most skilled and determined plumber.  Ovechkin is a painter of immense talent, a true artist.  Both possess rare skills that can be breathtaking to behold.  Yet, so far, Crosby has gone further in the playoffs than Ovechkin.  And until one of these dudes hoists the big mug, you can have all your Art Ross and Hart Trophies.  They are nice, but it’s the playoffs that truly matter, probably something that might be lost on the non-hockey sports journalists that suddenly found themselves covering the Capitals this spring.

Until the Capitals win the Stanley Cup, and with their two young goaltenders only getting better all the time, that is a distinct possibility in the next few years, I’ll take Sidney Crosby over Alexander Ovechkin.

Though really, no-one loses with either selection.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

There are a handful of players in a given sport that people will go out of their way to see play.  These are the true superstars of their respectives games.  In the National Hockey League, the pantheon of current hockey gods is a short list.  It usually starts with Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby, followed by Evgeni Malkin, and could also include Henrik Zetterberg, Pavel Datsyuk, Jarome Iginla and Ilya Kovalchuk, among others, depending on your preferences.

One of those hockey gods passed through Toronto on Tuesday evening, March 24th.  Ovechkin and his merry men of Capitals took on the Maple Leafs at the Air Canada Centre.  The Capitals are among the elite teams in the league, with serious Stanley Cup aspirations, though there are continuing questions about their goaltending.  The Maple Leafs have been out of the playoff race for a couple of months, though their recent strong play has put them back in sight of eighth place in the East.

Regardless, no-one seriously expects Toronto to make a run for that last spot, though no-one in Hogtown have thrown in the towel as-of-yet.

With all this in mind, one might have expected a Caps-Leafs game this late in the season to end up something like 7-6 Caps, which might not be textbook hockey from a coaches perspective, but it would be something the fans would appreciate.

I made my way to the A.C.C. early tonight, fearful that all the seats up in the pressbox would be occupied.  After all, the Capitals are one of the league’s most exciting teams to watch, and it’s Ovechkin’s first game in Toronto since his mini-feud with Don Cherry over the extent of AO’s goal celebrations.  There should have been a palpable buzz around the arena.

There wasn’t, or at least there wasn’t one I could detect.  Maybe Leafs’ fans are resigned to missing the playoffs once again.  Still, Ovechkin is in town.  That should be enough.

6:30 pm Eastern Daylight Time – made my way through the corridors up to press row.  The Capitals were just outside their dressing room, preparing to take the ice for the pre-game warm-up.  Jose Theodore and Ovechkin were closest to the door.  All of the Caps rocked back-and-forth on their skates, anticipating getting onto the fresh sheet of ice.  They looked like the kids at my local Scarborough arena every Sunday afternoon during public skating hour; they couldn’t wait to get out there.  Anyone who thinks these guys only play for the money are completely off-the-mark.  These guys got this far not only because they have talent, and worked to develop that talent, but because they all share a deep-seeded passion for the game.

I once read that John Lennon used to look forward to getting on-stage during the early years of Beatlemania, as it was one of the few places where he, and his bandmates, felt they were safe, where they were in control, and could be themselves.  Looking at Ovechkin, this thought crossed my mind. Waiting to hit the ice, he looked like he was in his element.  Nothing could touch him here.

6:40 pm - during the warmup, one of the cameras centres in on Ovechkin as he scoops up the puck, shakes-and-bakes his way towards the net, and unloads a rocket.  The camera proceeds to follow him for the majority of the warmup, as this is broadcast onto the giant screen perched atop the scoreboard suspended at centre ice.  Even in the warmup, Ovechkin is the show.

6:45 pm – Ovechkin is the second-last Cap to leave the ice at the conclusion of the warmup; Michael Nylander is the last.

7:06 pm – the teams emerge from their respective dressing rooms and charge onto the ice in preparation for the game.  Ovechkin hits the ice, and the camera centres in on him again.

7:10 pm – puck is dropped to begin the first period.  The crowd is strangely quiet tonight, as though they were attending a night school seminar.  The early play in the game mirrors this.

7:11 pm – Alexander Ovechkin takes SHIFT #1.  There is a fair amount of cheering as Number Eight heads over the boards.  After about a minute of skating around, he heads back to the bench.

7:15 pm – SHIFT #2.  This is a quick shift, 30 seconds at most, as a faceoff is required.

7:17 pm – SHIFT #3. The Caps employ their chief offensive weapon high in the opposing team’s zone.  He’s like a Russian bomber, flirting with Canadian airspace, but never actually dipping a toe over the line.  Ovechkin curls behind the Leafs’ defensive pair, who have to be mindful of his position, while at the same time, keeping their eyes on the play unfolding in front of them.  For those who criticize Ovechkin for not having the word backcheck in his vocabulary, he’s gone one better.  Any time he’s on the ice, he’s a threat to score.  The other team has no choice but to be constantly cognizant of this factor.  That, in turn, directly affects how they play.  How’s that for backchecking?  Ovechin knows what he’s doing.

On this shift, Ovechkin is hit with a long pass, but he’s offside.  The moribund crowd stirs to life at the possibility of magic, but slumps back into their seats with the whistle.

7:21 pm – the scoreboard shows a brief yet tasteful tribute to former NHL’er and one-time Maple Leaf sniper Walt Poddubbny, who passed away earlier this week.

7:25 pm – SHIFT #4.  On this tour-of-duty, Ovechkin throws his body around, first with a hit on Leafs’ defenceman Luke Schenn, and then with a very slight crosscheck to the chest of Matt Stajan.  One of Ovechkin’s longer shifts, or so it seems.

7:32 pm – SHIFT #5.  Once again, Ovechkin silently patrols the Leafs’ blueline, waiting for a pass to spring him free.  It reminds me of watching a game at the War Memorial Auditorium in Buffalo back in January 1990.  The Sabres were hosting the Pittsburgh Penguins, and Mario Lemieux was in the midst of a lengthy point-scoring streak, before injuries forced him to pull up short of Wayne Gretzky’s record.  Lemieux would be employed in exactly the same manner as Ovechkin, but remember, back then the centre-ice two-line pass was still forbidden.

7:30 pm – Peter Ing, former Maple Leafs’ netminder, is introduced to the crowd as that night’s Alumni member.  He’s in attendence with his young daughter.  A hearty round of applause for the mostly forgotten Ing, who looked like the Next Big Thing for the Leafs when he debuted in the 1989-90 season.  It wasn’t to be, and Ing only played 74 games in the NHL, also suiting up for the Oilers and Red Wings.

7:39 pm – SHIFT #6.  The Caps keep trying to hit Ovechkin with the long bomb, but to no avail.  You can sense even the pro-Leafs crowd would perfer to see one of these passes connect, if only to inject some life into this stale game.  During this shift, Ovechkin has to take a faceoff, the only one all night he’ll take, and he loses it.  Okay, so he’s not Bobby Clarke or Stan Mikita.  Also during this shift, Washington manages to sustain some pressure deep in the Leafs’ zone.  One gets the feeling the Capitals have the ability to ratchet up their game when they wish.  Tonight, we are wishing.

7:44 pm – first period over.  No score.  10-6 shot advantage for Washington.  No penalties called.  No real flow to this game yet.  Ovechkin had six shifts, and was on the ice for 7 minutes and 1 second, third-most ice-time for the Caps, but the longest average shift time.  Luke Schenn of the Maple Leafs was on the ice for 8 minutes and 18 seconds.

8:02 pm – second period begins.

8:03 pm – SHIFT #7.  Ovechkin get physical with Leafs’ centre John Mitchell during this shift.  Also notice TSN’s Pierre McGuire wildly gesticulating between the benches.  He’s planted there during the TV broadcast to offer a different perspective on the proceedings.  He sticks out like a sore thumb.  One cannot be the shy type to have that job.

8:06 pm – SHIFT #8.  During this shift, the first penalty of the game is called.  Milan Jurcina goes off for two minutes for tripping.  Ovechkin does not play on the PK.  The crowd perks up with their Leafs on the powerplay, and the home team applies some pressure in the Capitals zone, but fails to capitalize.

This game needs a goal.

8:11 pm – SHIFT #9.  Ovechkin can’t beat the defenceman one-on-one.  It only takes once.

8:17 pm – TORONTO SCORES.  The shot from the point snakes its way through the crowd and eludes Jose Theodore in the Washington net.  1-0 Toronto.  The A.C.C. erupts, proving that everyone hadn’t nodded off.  It’s the first NHL goal for Maple Leafs’ defenceman Phil Oreskovic.

8:18 pm – SHIFT #10.  Nothing to note.

8:21 pm – Washington picks up another penalty.  Shaone Morrisonn is nabbed for hooking.  Jose Theodore makes about five very nice saves in-a-row during this penalty kill.

8:23 pm – SHIFT #11.  Ovechkin makes a nice deke behind the Toronto net, but ends up losing the puck.  It appears to be only a matter-of-time before he finds the back-of-the-net.

Attendance tonight is announced as 19,362.  That’s 19,362 people who’ll have a problem falling asleep later tonight, as they’re catching a few winks at the arena, and will be well rested when they get home.

8:30 pm – SHIFT #12.  Ovechkin shoots the puck into the Leafs zone, just off-side.  After a faceoff, he’s part of the cycle the Capitals utilize in front of Martin Gerber.  No quality scoring chance is created as a result, but once again, the Caps hint that they could take this to another gear, if they so choose to.

With exactly a minute left to play in the second period, the Maple Leafs pick up their first penalty of the game; Jamal Mayers gets two for interference.

SHIFT #13.  Apparently I’m so excited at the prospect of watching the Capitals on the powerplay, I neglect to write down the time on my Coleman wristwatch.  Suffice to say, Ovechkin comes over the boards and takes his place on the point for the beginning of the PP.

One thing leads to another, and AO finds himself cutting towards the net, to the left of Gerber, who he dekes with a nifty little move that pulls the Leafs’ goaltender out just enough so that Ovechkin can go to the backhand and deposit the puck in the net.

1-1 tie. Ovechkin’s powerplay marker is his 51st goal of the season.

The question-of-the-day, though, in this hockey mad city, is in which manner will he celebrate said goal?

The answer is…in a subdued manner.  A brief kiss of his finger, and then a raised hand.  Then again, what did anyone expect?  Ovechkin tearing off his uniform, to reveal a Coaches Corner t-shirt underneath?

When the goal is announced by the booming voice of Andy Frost, there is a fair amount of applause from the crowd.  There weren’t that many people pulling for Washington this evening.  The hockey fans in Toronto know the game as well as anyone else on the planet.  They may be rather staid during most of the game, but they know a good goal when they see one.

The second period ends with the score knotted up at 1 goal apiece.  Ovechkin finally had the opportunity to come alive in this frame, registering a number of shots, and, of course, the powerplay goal.  He’s averaging a minute and 3 seconds per shift.

8:55 pm – third period is underway.

8:57 pm – SHIFT #14.  Ovechkin just missed connecting on a one-timer to the right of Martin Gerber.

It’s around this point that Washington head coach Bruce Boudreau calls a thirty-second time-out.  Not sure why, but I am curious how his team will respond afterwards.

9:03 pm – SHIFT #15.  Ovechkin lands his third hit of the game on Matt Stajan.  Why’s he ragin’ at The Stajan?  Actually, all the hits have been minor, just part of the flow of the game.  Ovechkin is known for enjoying that aspect of hockey as well as collecting the goals, a big reason why fans have taken to him.

9:06 pm – SHIFT #16.  Ovechkin takes one of his shorter shifts of the game, as the puck goes over the boards, and he changes up before the resulting faceoff.

9:07 pm – The “Go Leafs Go” chant starts up for the first time this evening in the A.C.C.

9:14 pm – SHIFT #17.  Wow, it’s been almost 8 minutes since Ovechkin was on the ice.  Can’t remember now, but there had to have been a TV timeout factored in there somewhere.  On this shift, he moves into the slot area with his stick coiled, but Gerber freezes the puck before it can get to Number 8.

It appears to these eyes as Ovechkin’s (and most everyone, with the notable expection of Mike Green) shifts are getting shorter as the third period progresses.

As for Washington defenceman Mike Green, I’ve heard and read the hype for the entire season, so it was also a delight to finally see Number 52 in action.  He’s everywhere, and he’s fast.  Green is a rover, and against a team like the Maple Leafs, he’s able to rocket safely back into position after one of his many forays’s deep into enemy territory.  No doubt other games he occasionally gets caught out of position, but the rewards far outweigh the risks.  Thank goodness he plays for a team, and a coach, that permits him to fully utilize his formidable skill set.  Green is a delight to watch.

9:17 pm – SHIFT #18.  Ovechkin chops at (on?) defenceman Jeff Finger in the Leafs’ zone.  Nothing to see here, move along.

9:21 pm – SHIFT #19.  Ovechkin takes a feed and gets off a nice shot that’s either just wide of the top left post behind Gerber, or hits a piece of the goaltender, and goes wide.  It happens so fast, I don’t know, and I don’t have the benefit to replay where I’m sitting.  Ovechkin has a lightning-fast shot.  During the same shift, he falls down deep in the Toronto zone, but still manages to pass the puck towards the slot.

WIth less than three minutes left, the Capitals come as close as a team can to scoring without actually lighting the lamp.  Somehow, Gerber keeps the puck out of his net.

And, as we all know, for TV hockey commentators will remind us each and every time, when that happens…

…the other team comes back and scores.

Well, first, John Erskine gets nabbed for hooking with 2:26 left in the third.

Toronto goes on the powerplay, and wIth 2:36 left to play, Pavel Kubina’s slapshot from the point finds its way into the back of the net.  The puck goes through the legs of Theodore, who had some traffic in front of him.  Typical NHL goal.  2-1 Maple Leafs.  The crowd finally appears to be fully awake.

We all had no idea what was in store for us mere moments away.

9:25 pm – SHIFT #20.  OVechkin sets up behind the Leafs’ goal, not in a Gretzky Office sort of way, but just because that’s where the puck is for the longest time.

With just over a minute left to play, Boudreau elects to pull Theodore.  It leads to almost immediate dividends, as the Caps push the equalizer past Gerber.  2-2 tie with 57 seconds left on the clock. Brooks Laich, who I understand is the extra attacker, gets the goal.  Ovechkin picks up an assist.

A hotly debated goal, at least by Leafs’ netminder Martin Gerber, who in his Curtis Joseph-like zeal to get to the offending referee and make his objections known, gets a little too physically friendly with ref Mike Leggo, and then proceeds to shoot the puck in the direction of the officials, though I have to admit, I didn’t see that infraction occur.

Doesn’t matter.  The officials did, and after assuring all that the goal stands, they hand Gerber a ten-minute misconduct, and he is asked to retire to the splendour of the dressing room for the remainer of the game.

Which means a cold Curtis Joseph, with a big grin on his face, is pressed into action.  After sitting at the end of the Maple Leafs’ bench for the past 59 minutes and three seconds of the game.  Scarfing down hotdogs.

Okay, maybe not, but Cujo couldn’t be any colder than when Toronto head coach Ron Wilson elected to use him in the shootout earlier this season instead of Vesa Toskala, and that turned out very badly for the Leafs.  No doubt the Capitals were licking their chops.

When the Washington goal is announced, the A.C.C. crowd boos very loudly.  They are finally into this game, though to be fair, there wasn’t much of a game to be into for most of the night.

SHIFT #21.  Curtis Joseph stones Ovechkin on a one-timer with 10 seconds left on the clock. The place erupts.  Ovechkin makes a face like he thought he should have had that one.   Probably everyone else in the joint thought he was going to connect, as well.  We head to overtime.

9:31 pm – SHIFT #22.  Ovechkin wasn’t on the ice to start the first, second or third period, but he’s out there to start the extra frame.  4-on-4.  Plenty of room for the Capitals’ predators.  He makes a nice rush up the ice, and sets up Mike Green in the slot, but Joseph is square to the puck, and stops it.

9:34 pm – SHIFT #23.  Ovechkin gets in a few rather light slashes at Alexei Ponikarovsky.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

9:36 pm – SHIFT #24. First off, the official NHL game sheet has Ovechkin having only 23 shifts, so somehow I’ve got him taking an extra shift.  The NHL stats guys know what they’re doing, but since this is how I tracked the game, I’m going with this phantom Shift 24, just to I don’t have to go back and figure out how I screwed up the math.

Regardless, Ovechkin helps draw a Pavel Kubina hooking penalty with 52. 3 seconds left in overtime.  During the 4-on-3, Ovechkin can’t keep the puck in the zone, but the Caps regroup quickly and regain the zone.  Once again, Joseph stones Ovechkin in the slot, and the A.C.C. crowd parties like it’s 1999.  We head to the shootout.

I’ve only seen one previous NHL shootout live, and it was that game where coach Wilson had Joseph come out of the bullpen for Toskala.  Doubt there will be the same result tonight, as Cujo has been at the top of his game in his less than six minutes of service.

Toronto elects to shoot first, which I think is almost always the best move for the home team.  Noted sniper Jeff Hamilton starts things, and damn if he doesn’t bury it.

That would be the only goal of the skills competition, as Theodore shuts the door on Blake and Mitchell.

As for Joseph, he stops Backstrom and Semin shoots wide, which sets up Alexander Ovechkin against Curtis Joseph.  Either Ovechin ties the game, or Joseph is elected mayor of Toronto.

The crowd is completely into the affair by now, whipped into a frenzy by their distate for the tying goal, and by the huge saves by Joseph.  The boos cascade around the building as Ovechkin sets himself at centre ice.  It’s a delicious piece of theatre, the game distilled down into this solitary encounter.  It’s the shootout as its best.

Ovechkin gets the signal, and moves in on Joseph.  Cujo goes down a bit early, and maybe guesses on the shot, but Ovechkin can’t find the handle, and as he moves to his right with the puck, rapidly running out of room, the crowd roars as it anticipates that this game is over.

Which it is.  3-2 Toronto.  58 minutes of mostly subpar hockey, with a few exceptions.  It’s the last two minutes, and all the extra activities, that have people talking.

The three stars reflect the peculiar nature of this game.  Oreskovic gets the third star, a homer call, thanks to his first NHL goal.

Mike Green gets the second star, and for good reason.  He was everywhere, registering 10 shots and was on the ice for 30 shifts, totalling 29 minutes and 7 seconds.  This man earns his pay.

Curtis Joseph is awarded the gold star, and even though he was only out there for the last chapter of the game, he earned it.  Former NHL goaltender and current broadcaster Greg Millen was sitting about three seats to my left, and I heard him loudly proclaim as he left the press box, that he’d never seen anything like it in all his years in hockey, a goaltender getting the first star for what was basically a one-inning relief appearance.

As for Alexander Ovechkin, the superstar ended the evening with a goal and an assist.  The goal was a powerplay marker, and the assist picked him up a plus one rating for the night.  He was on the ice for 23 shifts, for an average of a minute and one second per shift.  Ovechkin totalled 23:27 in ice time overall, and took 7 shots.

He was pretty much everything he’s advertised to be.  All eyes were on him whenever he took to the ice.  The game overall, save the last six minutes, was a dud, but one always had the feeling that at any time, given just an inch, Ovechkin would explode and fill the net with pucks.

23 shifts.

A player worth paying to watch.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

The wonders that a little overcooked Ovechkin goal celebration will do.

Thanks to his too-hot-to-handle 50th goal celebration the other night, the likes of the esteemed Thomas Boswell have seen fit to wade into the fray and comment about the game of hockey.

Boswell is a well-respected sports journalist, and the author of one of my favourite tomes on the great game of baseball, “Why Time Begins On Opening Day”.

Apparently he has a new book in the works, “Why The NHL began with Alexander Ovechkin”.

And maybe it did.  Maybe the creative, hot-dogging talents of the Russian sniper are what the league has been sorely lacking.

Ovechkin’s antics in Tampa no doubt made a number of sports highlight shows across the United States, which may have been the first time some of these programs lowered themselves to talk about hockey, other than when they get atop their moral high horse and show the shocked masses a hockey fight.

American hockey fans are as passionate and as knowledgeable about the game of hockey as any Canadian fan is, and they’d be the first to tell you that the overall coverage of the game is spotty, at best, in the lower 48.

Up here in the Great White North, one gets a sense of that when listening in to ESPN All-Night, which delves into detailed breakdowns of everything pertaining to football, baseball, basketball, college football, and college basketball, but offers nary a word about hockey.  And since one can’t listen to the program all the time, if they have done a segment or two on hockey, it pales in comparison to the coverage of those other sports.

And that’s the way it should be.  ESPN would go out of business fast if they didn’t tailor-make their program to suit the tastes of their audience.  For that same reason, TSN up here in Canada doesn’t devote a large part of their updates to cricket, even though there’s a growing, passionate audience for the sport in this country.

The plight of the American hockey fan is further underscored by the patchwork of cable television access to the Centre Ice package and the NHL Network.  Having manned the phones for the call-in portion of the NHL Hour with Commissioner Gary Bettman here on the NHL Home Ice, I know first-hand the constant frustration that U.S. fans have with gaining access to these services they are eager to pay for.

Depending on the market, some have the services, while others are patiently waiting, even though that wait appears to have no end.

Maybe the theatrics of AO is enough to convince those broadcast barons still holding out that NHL hockey is enough of a money-maker for them to include it in their overpriced, watered-down cable bundle.  The NHL will never come close to equaling the other major U.S. pro sports, but so what.  It is a niche product, one that appears to still be growing, and if handled properly, there’s money in dem der hills.

So, as Thomas Boswell basically writes in his column today in the Washington Post, the fans of the NHL should be rejoicing in the rejoicing of Ovechkin.  Time to drop the conservatism that has shrouded this league for years, and get with the other big time sports.  Time to act like you haven’t been in the endzone before.

What irks me is not Ovechkin and his pretty slamdances into the glass after a goal, or his Jimi Hendrix impersonation the other night.  I can live with it, though I don’t believe that all his celebrations are unplanned.  I’m not a Washington fan, so while I appreciate the beauty of most of his goals, I’m not cheering for the guy.  Yes, he’s good for hockey, but he’s not hockey.  Bobby Orr wasn’t hockey, neither was Wayne Gretzky.

What does irk me is two-fold.

First off, is the defensive reaction of a large contingent of Washington Capitals fans who believe that Ovechkin is above criticism.  Now granted, having motor-mouth Don Cherry take on Ovechkin does make one want to circle the Ovechkin wagons as well, but one has to rise above such pettiness.

Ovechkin is one of the true superstars currently at work in the National Hockey League, one of the few players people will pay good money to watch, even if they’re marginal hockey fans.  Regardless, he is still a member of the Washington Capitals, not the Harlem Globetrotters.  The opposition is, well, it could be the Lightning, or the Thrashers or the Rangers, they’re not the Washington Generals.

It’s alright for opposing fans to boo the guy.  It doesn’t mean they’re bums, or have no class, or don’t understand the game of hockey, or don’t appreciate what a stud like Ovechkin brings to the sport.  Rather, it means that they are fans of their home team.

Don’t worry that Thomas Boswell, or Boomer Gordon, or Elliott Friedman, or even Mick Kern, tells you otherwise.  You are the fan.  You paid your money.  You decide how you should react.  Well, outside of acts of violence.  Oh, and please keep your shirts on, fat guys.  Someone might get hurt.

The world is not the same as it was in 1950, or 1960, or 1985, and thank goodness for that, and the culture of hockey reflects these mostly positive changes.  Still, within the very matrix of the game we all love so very much, there beats the heart of some simple truths, be they actual facts or dearly held on to beliefs.  At some point, the line blurs between the two distinctions.

Hockey is a sporting culture onto itself within North America sport.  Its true sporting cousin may be Australian rugby, more so than any pampered American past-time.  To equate how hockey players should behave in relation to players in the NFL or MLB or the MBA is to miss the point by a wide margin.

Sports, to a large degree, is an everyday, peacetime substitute for the tribalism that still pulls at every person’s heart.  Us against them.  We’re better than you.  You’re not one of us.  It’s in your DNA.

Hockey, in some part due to its marginal place at the table when it comes to media attention on this continent, has taken this outsider’s status and has made it a part of its identity.

We don’t need ESPN or USA Today or ABC or the Washington Times to acknowledge our greatness, or even our very existence.  The game of hockey, meaning all the players at every level, and the coaches, and fans, and hockey moms and dads, and all the support staff, we know who we are, and we’re more than alright with that.

Which may explain why fighting, despite all evidence to the contrary, remains near-and-dear to most hockey fans on both sides of the border.  The very fact that a game of hockey can be disrupted at any point by (at least) two men fighting is, on first, and second, and even third glance, highly anachronistic.

It can’t logically be defended, and even the most zealot supporters of fighting in hockey usually fall back on well-worn clilches to justify its continual existence in the game.

Yet, like so very much of this game, regardless of where you personally stand on fighting (and I, for one, wouldn’t miss it if it disappeared tomorrow), fighting is a key part of the mosaic that makes up hockey, a game that is so passionately loved by its fans for daring to swim against the tide in today’s streamlined, edges-sanded-down society we have molded for ourselves.

While it’s not the only dangerous sport out there (auto racing comes to mind, as does facing a heater at home plate, as does facing a blitzing linebacker), the very nature of this sanguine sport sets it apart from every other sport on this continent.

It’s played at a very high tempo, they wear blades, they carry sticks, they are encouraged to hit one another, they fire a virtual bullet around the unforgiving ice, and there’s boards to contain all this, no real out-of-bounds, unless the puck goes over those boards.

There is nowhere to hide out there.  Hockey exposes you.  Its very disposition is one of violation.  Hockey is inherently a violent game, and no amount of rule changes, and equipment tweaks, and philosophical discussions is going to alter that fact.

Which brings me back to Thomas Boswell, and the almost paternalistic tone his article takes regarding some of the negative reaction to Ovechkin’s on-ice antics, and the second thing that irks me about this whole affair.

The arguments in favour of Ovechkin celebrating goals in this fashion are persuasive.  The NHL does need to inject some colour into its players, who are its greatest asset, yet are often hidden behind helmets and visors and over-protective PR departments who act as though they’re pertrified that one of these guys might actually say something quotable.

When Ovechkin puts the celebratory cherry on top of the ice-cream sundae goal he just scored, he will garner attention, even in U.S. media outlets who couldn’t be bothered to throw the NHL a few scraps of bread at the best of times.

That’s all fine.

What irks me is the likes of Boswell scolding the hockey fans/media/establishment who either do not care for the antics of Ovechkin, or have no problem with them, but would rather he do it sparingly.

Such theatrics are not a part of the culture of hockey.  Oh sure, Tiger WIlliams rode his stick a couple of times, and Theo Fleury slid across the ice after that big goal, and others probably did the Funky Chicken, for all we know, but overall, the culture of hockey has always been about Team, not Player.

It’s part of why hockey fans, whether American or Canadian, bleed the sport when cut.

It’s about shared identity with the group, it’s about the others in the foxhole.  The NFL comes closest to matching that, but even then, the wide receivers, and running backs, and quarterbacks, and the odd superstar linebacker, pull against that collective.

Hockey is about Us, not Me.

And while Ovechkin is just as likely to do his happy dance when one of his teammates scores, he still manages to pull the spotlight towards his antics.  Nothing wrong with that, and after all, there are different unwritten rules for superstars, but I really doubt that new people, who have shunned the sport for years, are suddenly going to watch the NHL just because Ovechkin likes to jump around after a goal.

Most hockey fans, with the obvious exception of supporters of the Washington Capitals, understand that some players in the league will have a problem with Ovechkin’s theatrics.  These same hockey fans will also understand that such differences have a way of being settled, which doesn’t have to mean fisticuffs, but the on-ice frontier justice has always been a part of the game, even though it logically cannot be defended.

A hockey fan understands that reality, whether they approve of the goal celebrations or not.  An outsider does not.

The outsider is correct in questioning such archaic thinking, but then again, they haven’t been baptised yet.

Hockey fans shouldn’t worry about the arrogance of Thomas Boswell, attempting to shame us into grafting onto hockey the culture of the other big money sports in America, though I have a feeling the NHL head offices in New York would be all for that integration into the sporting mainstream.  After all, that can only mean more money.

Yet, if anything, over the years, NHL hockey has managed to survive the actual NHL.  The small-minded dictatorship of the Norris Family and Clarence Campbell.  The bumblings of the likes of Gil Stein.  The misguided notions of league grandeur and phantom network TV contracts of Gary Bettman.  The crimes of Alan Eagleson, and the scorched Earth policies of the likes of Bob Goodenow.

Somehow, the actual game continues to thrive, thankfully with rules changes now-and-again to correct its course.

Hockey is different from every other big sport in North America.

Mr. Boswell, stick to baseball.

What you write about that game connects me with a sport that is my favourite.  And as a Canadian, even though the game of baseball has deep roots in this country, I will always remain just outside the lines when it comes to truly being a part of that culture.  Your books, and articles, allow me a glimpse into that world, one I wish I had been born into.

While baseball is my favourite sport, hockey is my religion.  It’s in my blood, so much so that it continually calls me back, even when I try to deny its pull.

It’s all around me, on a constant basis.  Every month of the year.  There is no off-season for hockey in Canada.

Hockey is Canada, even though only about 3 million people may watch Hockey Night In Canada on any given Saturday night.  Even though, particularly with a changing demographic, less and less people have suited up and played it.

That may matter forty, fifty years from now, but not right now.  Hockey is Canada, and Hockey is also specific parts of the United States, just as much.  But only certain parts.

While it’s great that the game is in markets such as Washington, D.C., and Nashville, and Atlanta, and Phoenix, and Dallas, it’ll never, NEVER, have the same resonance that it has in Edmonton, or Winnipeg, or Montreal, or Halifax, or Saskatoon, or Moose Jaw, or Toronto, or Glace Bay.

Or in Detriot, or the state of Minnesota, or New Hampshire, or Vermont, etc.

So on behalf of the so-called “hockey purists” you dismiss in your article, I’m going to trump you, Mr. Boswell, and ask you to keep your professorial musings about the game of hockey to yourself.

Ryan Malone isn’t a moron, as your article claims.

Ryan Malone understands how hockey works.  You don’t.

Hockey ain’t baseball or football.  Somehow, someway, even in today’s video game society, hockey is purer.  Not by much, but by enough.

And that is something you’ll never understand.

Leave my game alone.

I appreciate it.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s