Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Before they dropped the puck for Game Seven on Wednesday evening between the Penguins and the Capitals, NHL.com had been running a poll, asking fans to choose the greatest seven-game playoff series in NHL history.

The 2009 Pens and Caps were leading, by a considerable margin, over the Red Wings and Avalanche brawl earlier this decade.  All the seven-game classics that occurred before the year 2000 received less and less of the vote as they got smaller in the rear-view mirror.  Guess most of us oldtimers either don’t know how to switch on a computer, or were too busy being six feet under (personally, I voted for the Boston Bruins-Montreal Canadiens series from 1979, the infamous Too Many Men On The Ice series.  That entire series was top-notch hockey).

Well, casting a vote for the current Pens-Caps series before Game Seven was even played was like opening your Christmas presents early.  Not on December 24th, but on December 19th.

In order for this to truly be considered the “Greatest Seven-Game Series in NHL History”, it had to deliver when it mattered most…Game Seven.

Well, so much for that.

What a let-down, unless, of course, you bleed Penguin blue, or whatever it is Penguins bleed.  A 6-2 romp by Pittsburgh in the deciding game immediately puts this series near the bottom of the five or six previous series that were in that NHL.com poll.

Yes, it was a great buildup, through the first six games, thanks to high-tempo play and three overtimes, and lead changes, and Crosby and Ovechkin, and the young goaltenders, and the history of hate between these two franchises.

But it was, in the end, not to be.  The Ron McLean’s and Don Cherry’s can whine on and on about the slashing call on Shaone Morrisonn that led to the powerplay that led to the first Pittsburgh goal, but here’s the thing boys.

Whether you personally like it or not, the officials have been calling that call all season. No, not every time.  But that’s the tricky thing about the NHL.  By now, the players know that it might be called a penalty, so they can’t plead ignorance of the law when it is called.  You take a chance delivering a slash.  No matter how light, no matter how seemingly inconsequential, you take your chances.  And tonight, the Caps got burned.

What really sunk their boat was the second goal only eight seconds after the first.   The Craig Adams shot the kid should have had.

Still, the fire-wagon Capitals, the most exciting team in hockey, as we’re told over and over and over again, had plenty of time to respond, and failed to do so.  Sure, the team they were facing are a very good, and deep team.  It wasn’t going to be easy.  But here’s where legends are born, forged from the fire of adversity.

All that was forged were the bad cheques that promised that this was the greatest series ever.

You can’t hang this series loss on Varlamov.  Without his goaltending, the Capitals don’t get this far.  Probably they lose, in five, to the stinkin’ New York Rangers.  Sure, the kid should have had at least that second goal, but he picked up the Caps a number of times in the past month.  It was time for his teammates to return that favour.

So whine all you want about the officiating.  Chant “Crosby Sucks” until you’re rockin’ the red in the face.  The fact remains, the better team won.

And, for now, Crosby got the better of Ovechkin.  Both are world class players.  Both are already superstars at such an early age.  Both performed, for the most part, at an elevated level throughout this series, which was the number one reason why it was a delight to watch.  Yet, to me, Crosby delivered a bit more than Ovechkin.  That may be the result of the team systems employed, but Crosby always looked like he’d plow through a wall, the goaltender, the Zamboni and his grandmother to score a goal.

Crosby at times looks like the world’s most skilled and determined plumber.  Ovechkin is a painter of immense talent, a true artist.  Both possess rare skills that can be breathtaking to behold.  Yet, so far, Crosby has gone further in the playoffs than Ovechkin.  And until one of these dudes hoists the big mug, you can have all your Art Ross and Hart Trophies.  They are nice, but it’s the playoffs that truly matter, probably something that might be lost on the non-hockey sports journalists that suddenly found themselves covering the Capitals this spring.

Until the Capitals win the Stanley Cup, and with their two young goaltenders only getting better all the time, that is a distinct possibility in the next few years, I’ll take Sidney Crosby over Alexander Ovechkin.

Though really, no-one loses with either selection.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

It happens every Spring.

Somebody somewhere has to sit through a lengthy overtime game, and the next day, still sore from the experience, they slump behind their computer keyboard and bang out a column calling for a revamp of how the NHL approaches overtime in the playoffs.

Some of the reasoning behind this yearly call is sound.  By the time a game featuring multiple overtimes ends, a sizeable majority of the TV audience have abandoned the broadcast for bed.  If the game is on the West Coast, most of the continent have tuned out.

Another salient point is the quality, or lack therefore, of play as the overtimes pile up.  A great example would be the marathon between the New York Islanders and the Washington Capitals in Game Seven of their 1987 playoff series.  As the overtime dragged on, so did the play.  Yes, goaltenders Kelly Hrudey and Bob Mason were called upon to make a number of fantastic saves, but a lot of the play consisted of the most blantant examples of clutch-and-grab, as players on both teams struggled to maintain the earlier pace of the game.

One other point often brought up is that following a lengthy overtime game, a great deal of the energy is sucked out of the remainder of the series, which produces sub-par hockey at a time of the season when the league wants to put its best skate forward.

All good points, though each can be debated concerning their relative merit.  Even if one accepts those points at face value, I still believe that they are not enough to warrant a change to how playoff overtime is conducted.

Shudder the thought that one day the NHL will embrace the shootout in the playoffs, but logic dictates someone somewhere has already floated this idea.  The shootout has come to stay in deciding regular season games that couldn’t decide anything after 60 minutes of regulation time and an additional five minutes of 4-on-4 overtime.

The shootout is a tidy end to a game.  It’s tailor-made for television; it looks good, it produces a winner within a set amount of time, and even a non-hockey fan can flick on the TV and be drawn in by the spectacle.

I’ve come to learn to live with the shootout.  It’s not going away anytime soon.  One reason I can hold my nose and learn to like the novelty is that I know it won’t find its way into the playoffs.

Well, not yet, anyhow.

Some are now calling for the NHL to adopt 4-on-4 play following one period of overtime.

Why wait until then?  If you’re so hot on deciding the game, then go to 4-on-4 in the first overtime period.  Even better, play the entire game that way.

Why tinker with the very matrix of the game in this fashion?  I’d prefer the game was consistent in its makeup.  Why are we tarting up the game?  Is it another ill-fated attempt to curry favour with non-hockey fans?  Yes, it’s always good to try to grow the game, but at what cost to the very intergrity of the sport?

One suggestion that I read made the most sense.  You want to make sure most NHL playoff overtimes don’t drag into the middle of the night?  Easy as pie.  Call the game as it’s called for the first three periods.  Don’t put the whistle away and “let the boys play”, as the Bob Cole’s of the world utter every time we head to OT.  Let the officials do their job and call the game.

Penalties are a part of hockey, as are the resulting powerplays.  You want to fix overtime?  No need to call a contractor.  This is an easy do-it-yourself job.

Stop putting away the rule book during overtime.  Problem solved.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Goodnight Montreal.  The Party is Over.

In truth, it ended sometime in January, but people were having too good of a time to notice it.

So much for the overblown 100th Anniversary Season.  Starting Monday morning, half price on all memorabilia.  Everything must go, including a large number of free agents.

I think I finally get what GM Bob Gainey was trying to do with goaltender Carey Price.  Unlike a lot of Montreal fans, Gainey no doubt knew that this team wasn’t deep enough to make a long run in this year’s playoffs.  His man in net is, without a doubt, young Mr. Price.  Why not throw him right in and get his feet wet, toughen him up using live ammo.

Trouble is, that strategy can backfire horribly if the goaltender’s confidence is shaken to the point he doubts the very things that carried him this far.  That has always been my worry with how Montreal has handled Carey Price.  He’s now played in three playoff series over two straight seasons, and he hasn’t looked good in any of them.

Mind you, this year’s edition of Les Canadiens were nothing to write home about, and my mother actually asked me to stop with the emails.  The real test for Montreal will be this summer:

- which unrestricted free agents do they attempt to keep?
- can they coax any key unrestricted free agents from other teams to sign here?
- is Gainey preparing to clear cap room in order to try to trade for Vincent Lecavalier?
- will this team finally get physically bigger, now that they’re been pushed around for two straight playoff years?
- who will be the head coach of this team?
- will GM Bob Gainey keep his job?  Does he still want the job?
- is this team for sale, or not?
- entering his third NHL season, it’s time for Carey Price to begin to
realize the immense potential he has.

That’s a lot of stuff for one off-season.  The best news?

It’s the 101st season for the Canadiens.  Time to forget the distractions and get down to business.

Go Bruins.  You guys look good.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Sorry, I don’t have all the stats in front of me, though no doubt they’re out there lurking on the internet somewhere.

But let’s forgo the statistical evidence for now, and rely on your gut feeling in response to the question.  Which game is the most important in a seven-game NHL playoff series?

Obviously, the fourth win by a team is crucial, for that is the drop-dead point of the entire affair.

Putting the obvious aside, at what point does a team get to that threshold, the earliest juncture in a series where they statistically hold the upper hand?

How crucial is it to win Game One?  What percentage of NHL teams that take Game One of a seven-game series go on to win three more games?

My gut tells me that, while getting off to a good start is nice, Game Two is where it really begins to matter.

For instance, let’s say your team wins Game One AND Game Two.  Many times in NHL history, a team has rebounded from a two-game deficit, but I’d venture that the majority of teams that get in that two-game hole to begin a series fail to climb all the way out of it.  It only makes statistical sense.

If your team is down two games, heading into game three, then you have to win four of the next five games.  Not impossible, but difficult, particularly since you’ve just lost two games in-a-row, so you’re not that hot to begin with.

Some will advance the theory that Game Three is the real litmus test, and they may be right.  This theory holds more water when teams are tied at 1 game apiece, but then again, once could say Game Five is the key game, if both teams are tied at 2 games apiece.

Hey, what about Game Six???  Okay, suddenly every game in a series is crucial, but you know what, they are.  Midway through the second period of Game One, it may look like a long series looms ahead, but the clock advances very quickly in the post-season, in some sort of warped Space Time Hockey Continuum.

Until convinced otherwise, I still postulate that Game Two is usually the turning point of a seven-game series.  Let’s use a current example.

The eighth seeded Anaheim Ducks took Game One over the powerhouse San Jose Sharks.  A road win in Game One automatically hands the home-ice advantage to the road team, erasing six months of hard work by the higher seed.

Suddenly, all the pressure is on the Sharks, who can’t afford to go to Southern California down by two games.  If they win Game Two, the Sharks have avoided a sweep at home, have gained some momentum, and have set themselves up to reclaim so-called home ice advantage by only having to win one of the next two games in Anaheim.

If they lose Game Two, then they face the unenviable task of having to beat the resurgent Ducks four out of the next five games, and that scenario doesn’t look too promising for San Jose.

Of course, the Ducks prevailed 3-2 in Game Two, and now head home up two games.  If the Sharks bounce back and take both games on the road, the worst Anaheim can be is tied heading back to San Jose, where they know they can win in the playoffs, because they’ve already won two games there.

True, if the Sharks take the next two games, they may regain momentum, and take control of the series, but that’s a pretty precarious branch to be walking out on, though now that’s all they’ve got to work with.

Game Three is also crucial, as the Blues found out, when they fell to the Canucks, who now have a stranglehold three-game lead in their series.  And we all know, only two NHL teams have ever come all the way back from a three-game hole, and prevailed….though I think we’re long overdue for it to happen again.

Okay, so maybe I’ve convinced myself that both Game Two and Game Three are the contests that, upon closer inspection, reveal much of how the series-in-question will unfold.  Someone please show me the math on this, because we can probably all list off teams that have come back from 2-0 and 3-1 game deficits, but it only stands to reason that most teams in that position never make it all the way back.

Math aside, there are other factors that have to be considered.  The Washington Capitals also have lost the first two games of their series with the New York Rangers, and they were home-ice defeats, but one gets the sense that if they can win at MSG in Game Three, they’ll force themselves right back into this series.  Same might be said for the Calgary Flames, and their battle with the Blackhawks, especially since the Flames are returning to the friendly confines of the Saddledome, or whatever they’re officially calling it these days.

Then again, does anyone really think the Montreal Canadiens will be right back in their series with the Boston Bruins if they manage to win Game Three on home ice?

Seven games in a playoff series seems to be the perfect number of games to separate the wheat from the chaff.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

I hate predictions.

If I really knew what was going to happen, do you think I’d be sitting here in uptown Toronto, at 4:30 on an overcast Tuesday afternoon, sharing them with you?  No, I’d be on some far-off tropical island, sharing them with gorgeous women, who only want to be with me because of all my money, which I made by charging you money to access my predictions website.

Dare to dream, or more accurately back here on Planet Earth, dare to predict.

Before the 2008-09 NHL regular season got underway, we were asked to name which two teams we thought were going to be in the Stanley Cup Final eight months later.  I decided to throw caution to the wind, and put all my eggs into the Cleveland Barons’ basket.  Heck, why not?  Considering I picked the Dallas Stars to get there, a vote for the long-dead Barons would have been as productive.

There are many things about sports predictions that don’t sit well with me.  I’d say they were things that bother me, but honestly, I can’t get that worked up over predictions.  Roll the dice, flip the coin, spin the wheel, hey, spin the bottle if you’re lucky enough, but it’s mostly luck-of-the-draw.

This all coming from a guy who “won” the NHL Home Ice prediction pool last playoffs, and tied with Mike Ross for first place the year before that.  Which only means one thing…I had luck on my side.  It’s not like the St. Louis Blues or NHL Central Scouting were suddenly ringing me up with employment offers, though, for-the-record, I’d listen.

The big thing that irks me about sports predictions are the type of people who will crow about the one or two big picks, usually upsets, they got right, while conveniently forgetting the 90% of picks they got wrong.  More than a couple of people around this building fit that description to a T.

The other thing that rubs me the wrong way about predicting sports (or politics, or the weather, or hog futures…name your poison) is when people hedge their bets.  Not that I blame them.  Again, who really knows what’s going to happen?  A number 8 team could upset a number 1 team this spring.  There is plenty of historical evidence of that occurring, just ask any Bruins’ fan over the age of 15.

Still, some wiseguy will, say, pick the Penguins in 7 over the Flyers, but when it’s the Flyers who triumph in 6 or 7, Mr. Wiseguy will fall back on his ready-made excuse,  “Well, I picked the Pens in 7, which means it could have gone either way, so I wasn’t that wrong”.

No, you were wrong.  You picked the Penguins.  Some team named the Flyers won, not the Flightless Birds.  And so on.

Another thing that cracks me up about hockey predictions is those folk who believe they have a clause in their predictions that allow them to opt out of their previous prediction after only one game.  That’s like changing your lottery ticket two numbers into the 12-number draw.  It can’t be done, yet I know many who have tried.

One other thing that kills me are universally recognized experts of the grand game of hockey, who are invited to appear on TV panel shows, and invariably pick the Conference champions to meet in the Stanley Cup Final.

Excuse me, are we paying this dude anything?  A monkey could have made that choice.  No wait, that little one that shows up on TSN with James Duthie has exhibited more hockey intelligence over the past few playoffs than some of the big name hockey experts.

C’mon, everyone knows there’s an upset or two lurking in the weeds of the first round.  Put your hockey thinking helmet on and explain to me and Joe Six-Pack why the Blues have a good shot at upending the Canucks, or why the Rangers will derail the Capitals.  No, the odds are not in favour of those teams, but this is called playoff predictions, not mathematical probabilities.

Anyone, even me dear old Mom, could pick the Bruins to face the Sharks in the Final, or the Caps to face the Red Wings.  Who dares to go out on the limb and pick, say, Carolina to meet Calgary, or Pittsburgh to face the Blackhawks…and that second pick is not all that improbable.  Yet most people stick to the tried-and-maybe-true, for fear of looking stoopid.

Yet who thought the Calgary Flames would fall only one game short of the 2004 Cup, or that the Habs would win the 2005 Stanley Cup, or that the Oilers would fall only one game short of the 2006 Cup…to the Hurricanes???

Hey, somebody must have picked John Druce for their playoff pool that one year.

As for me, did I mention that I hate predictions?  Nonetheless, I was asked to come up with mine for the first round, so here they be.  Warning, do not rely on these when betting the rent.

Boston over Montreal in 5 games (though I bleed bleu-blanc-et-rouge)
Washington over New York in 6 games (though there are many questions about Jose Theodore)
Carolina over New Jersey in 6 games (though I worship at the altar of Martin Brodeur)
Pittsburgh over Philadelphia in 7 games (though this one appears to be a toss-up)
San Jose over Anaheim 6 (though the Ducks are a strong number 8 seed)
Detroit over Columbus in 5 (though is Chris Osgood once again ready-for-prime time?)
St. Louis over Vancouver in 7 (the Blues are my 2nd favourite team, and have been since I was a kid, so I’m picking with my heart here…besides, there’s an upset somewhere every year, why not here?)
Chicago over Calgary in 7 (Flames are stumbling going in, though this is a toss-up)

Okay, so for each of the eight series, I offered a ready-made excuse for why my pick may not turn out correct.  Talk about hedging your bets.

I hate guys like me.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

There are a handful of players in a given sport that people will go out of their way to see play.  These are the true superstars of their respectives games.  In the National Hockey League, the pantheon of current hockey gods is a short list.  It usually starts with Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby, followed by Evgeni Malkin, and could also include Henrik Zetterberg, Pavel Datsyuk, Jarome Iginla and Ilya Kovalchuk, among others, depending on your preferences.

One of those hockey gods passed through Toronto on Tuesday evening, March 24th.  Ovechkin and his merry men of Capitals took on the Maple Leafs at the Air Canada Centre.  The Capitals are among the elite teams in the league, with serious Stanley Cup aspirations, though there are continuing questions about their goaltending.  The Maple Leafs have been out of the playoff race for a couple of months, though their recent strong play has put them back in sight of eighth place in the East.

Regardless, no-one seriously expects Toronto to make a run for that last spot, though no-one in Hogtown have thrown in the towel as-of-yet.

With all this in mind, one might have expected a Caps-Leafs game this late in the season to end up something like 7-6 Caps, which might not be textbook hockey from a coaches perspective, but it would be something the fans would appreciate.

I made my way to the A.C.C. early tonight, fearful that all the seats up in the pressbox would be occupied.  After all, the Capitals are one of the league’s most exciting teams to watch, and it’s Ovechkin’s first game in Toronto since his mini-feud with Don Cherry over the extent of AO’s goal celebrations.  There should have been a palpable buzz around the arena.

There wasn’t, or at least there wasn’t one I could detect.  Maybe Leafs’ fans are resigned to missing the playoffs once again.  Still, Ovechkin is in town.  That should be enough.

6:30 pm Eastern Daylight Time – made my way through the corridors up to press row.  The Capitals were just outside their dressing room, preparing to take the ice for the pre-game warm-up.  Jose Theodore and Ovechkin were closest to the door.  All of the Caps rocked back-and-forth on their skates, anticipating getting onto the fresh sheet of ice.  They looked like the kids at my local Scarborough arena every Sunday afternoon during public skating hour; they couldn’t wait to get out there.  Anyone who thinks these guys only play for the money are completely off-the-mark.  These guys got this far not only because they have talent, and worked to develop that talent, but because they all share a deep-seeded passion for the game.

I once read that John Lennon used to look forward to getting on-stage during the early years of Beatlemania, as it was one of the few places where he, and his bandmates, felt they were safe, where they were in control, and could be themselves.  Looking at Ovechkin, this thought crossed my mind. Waiting to hit the ice, he looked like he was in his element.  Nothing could touch him here.

6:40 pm - during the warmup, one of the cameras centres in on Ovechkin as he scoops up the puck, shakes-and-bakes his way towards the net, and unloads a rocket.  The camera proceeds to follow him for the majority of the warmup, as this is broadcast onto the giant screen perched atop the scoreboard suspended at centre ice.  Even in the warmup, Ovechkin is the show.

6:45 pm – Ovechkin is the second-last Cap to leave the ice at the conclusion of the warmup; Michael Nylander is the last.

7:06 pm – the teams emerge from their respective dressing rooms and charge onto the ice in preparation for the game.  Ovechkin hits the ice, and the camera centres in on him again.

7:10 pm – puck is dropped to begin the first period.  The crowd is strangely quiet tonight, as though they were attending a night school seminar.  The early play in the game mirrors this.

7:11 pm – Alexander Ovechkin takes SHIFT #1.  There is a fair amount of cheering as Number Eight heads over the boards.  After about a minute of skating around, he heads back to the bench.

7:15 pm – SHIFT #2.  This is a quick shift, 30 seconds at most, as a faceoff is required.

7:17 pm – SHIFT #3. The Caps employ their chief offensive weapon high in the opposing team’s zone.  He’s like a Russian bomber, flirting with Canadian airspace, but never actually dipping a toe over the line.  Ovechkin curls behind the Leafs’ defensive pair, who have to be mindful of his position, while at the same time, keeping their eyes on the play unfolding in front of them.  For those who criticize Ovechkin for not having the word backcheck in his vocabulary, he’s gone one better.  Any time he’s on the ice, he’s a threat to score.  The other team has no choice but to be constantly cognizant of this factor.  That, in turn, directly affects how they play.  How’s that for backchecking?  Ovechin knows what he’s doing.

On this shift, Ovechkin is hit with a long pass, but he’s offside.  The moribund crowd stirs to life at the possibility of magic, but slumps back into their seats with the whistle.

7:21 pm – the scoreboard shows a brief yet tasteful tribute to former NHL’er and one-time Maple Leaf sniper Walt Poddubbny, who passed away earlier this week.

7:25 pm – SHIFT #4.  On this tour-of-duty, Ovechkin throws his body around, first with a hit on Leafs’ defenceman Luke Schenn, and then with a very slight crosscheck to the chest of Matt Stajan.  One of Ovechkin’s longer shifts, or so it seems.

7:32 pm – SHIFT #5.  Once again, Ovechkin silently patrols the Leafs’ blueline, waiting for a pass to spring him free.  It reminds me of watching a game at the War Memorial Auditorium in Buffalo back in January 1990.  The Sabres were hosting the Pittsburgh Penguins, and Mario Lemieux was in the midst of a lengthy point-scoring streak, before injuries forced him to pull up short of Wayne Gretzky’s record.  Lemieux would be employed in exactly the same manner as Ovechkin, but remember, back then the centre-ice two-line pass was still forbidden.

7:30 pm – Peter Ing, former Maple Leafs’ netminder, is introduced to the crowd as that night’s Alumni member.  He’s in attendence with his young daughter.  A hearty round of applause for the mostly forgotten Ing, who looked like the Next Big Thing for the Leafs when he debuted in the 1989-90 season.  It wasn’t to be, and Ing only played 74 games in the NHL, also suiting up for the Oilers and Red Wings.

7:39 pm – SHIFT #6.  The Caps keep trying to hit Ovechkin with the long bomb, but to no avail.  You can sense even the pro-Leafs crowd would perfer to see one of these passes connect, if only to inject some life into this stale game.  During this shift, Ovechkin has to take a faceoff, the only one all night he’ll take, and he loses it.  Okay, so he’s not Bobby Clarke or Stan Mikita.  Also during this shift, Washington manages to sustain some pressure deep in the Leafs’ zone.  One gets the feeling the Capitals have the ability to ratchet up their game when they wish.  Tonight, we are wishing.

7:44 pm – first period over.  No score.  10-6 shot advantage for Washington.  No penalties called.  No real flow to this game yet.  Ovechkin had six shifts, and was on the ice for 7 minutes and 1 second, third-most ice-time for the Caps, but the longest average shift time.  Luke Schenn of the Maple Leafs was on the ice for 8 minutes and 18 seconds.

8:02 pm – second period begins.

8:03 pm – SHIFT #7.  Ovechkin get physical with Leafs’ centre John Mitchell during this shift.  Also notice TSN’s Pierre McGuire wildly gesticulating between the benches.  He’s planted there during the TV broadcast to offer a different perspective on the proceedings.  He sticks out like a sore thumb.  One cannot be the shy type to have that job.

8:06 pm – SHIFT #8.  During this shift, the first penalty of the game is called.  Milan Jurcina goes off for two minutes for tripping.  Ovechkin does not play on the PK.  The crowd perks up with their Leafs on the powerplay, and the home team applies some pressure in the Capitals zone, but fails to capitalize.

This game needs a goal.

8:11 pm – SHIFT #9.  Ovechkin can’t beat the defenceman one-on-one.  It only takes once.

8:17 pm – TORONTO SCORES.  The shot from the point snakes its way through the crowd and eludes Jose Theodore in the Washington net.  1-0 Toronto.  The A.C.C. erupts, proving that everyone hadn’t nodded off.  It’s the first NHL goal for Maple Leafs’ defenceman Phil Oreskovic.

8:18 pm – SHIFT #10.  Nothing to note.

8:21 pm – Washington picks up another penalty.  Shaone Morrisonn is nabbed for hooking.  Jose Theodore makes about five very nice saves in-a-row during this penalty kill.

8:23 pm – SHIFT #11.  Ovechkin makes a nice deke behind the Toronto net, but ends up losing the puck.  It appears to be only a matter-of-time before he finds the back-of-the-net.

Attendance tonight is announced as 19,362.  That’s 19,362 people who’ll have a problem falling asleep later tonight, as they’re catching a few winks at the arena, and will be well rested when they get home.

8:30 pm – SHIFT #12.  Ovechkin shoots the puck into the Leafs zone, just off-side.  After a faceoff, he’s part of the cycle the Capitals utilize in front of Martin Gerber.  No quality scoring chance is created as a result, but once again, the Caps hint that they could take this to another gear, if they so choose to.

With exactly a minute left to play in the second period, the Maple Leafs pick up their first penalty of the game; Jamal Mayers gets two for interference.

SHIFT #13.  Apparently I’m so excited at the prospect of watching the Capitals on the powerplay, I neglect to write down the time on my Coleman wristwatch.  Suffice to say, Ovechkin comes over the boards and takes his place on the point for the beginning of the PP.

One thing leads to another, and AO finds himself cutting towards the net, to the left of Gerber, who he dekes with a nifty little move that pulls the Leafs’ goaltender out just enough so that Ovechkin can go to the backhand and deposit the puck in the net.

1-1 tie. Ovechkin’s powerplay marker is his 51st goal of the season.

The question-of-the-day, though, in this hockey mad city, is in which manner will he celebrate said goal?

The answer is…in a subdued manner.  A brief kiss of his finger, and then a raised hand.  Then again, what did anyone expect?  Ovechkin tearing off his uniform, to reveal a Coaches Corner t-shirt underneath?

When the goal is announced by the booming voice of Andy Frost, there is a fair amount of applause from the crowd.  There weren’t that many people pulling for Washington this evening.  The hockey fans in Toronto know the game as well as anyone else on the planet.  They may be rather staid during most of the game, but they know a good goal when they see one.

The second period ends with the score knotted up at 1 goal apiece.  Ovechkin finally had the opportunity to come alive in this frame, registering a number of shots, and, of course, the powerplay goal.  He’s averaging a minute and 3 seconds per shift.

8:55 pm – third period is underway.

8:57 pm – SHIFT #14.  Ovechkin just missed connecting on a one-timer to the right of Martin Gerber.

It’s around this point that Washington head coach Bruce Boudreau calls a thirty-second time-out.  Not sure why, but I am curious how his team will respond afterwards.

9:03 pm – SHIFT #15.  Ovechkin lands his third hit of the game on Matt Stajan.  Why’s he ragin’ at The Stajan?  Actually, all the hits have been minor, just part of the flow of the game.  Ovechkin is known for enjoying that aspect of hockey as well as collecting the goals, a big reason why fans have taken to him.

9:06 pm – SHIFT #16.  Ovechkin takes one of his shorter shifts of the game, as the puck goes over the boards, and he changes up before the resulting faceoff.

9:07 pm – The “Go Leafs Go” chant starts up for the first time this evening in the A.C.C.

9:14 pm – SHIFT #17.  Wow, it’s been almost 8 minutes since Ovechkin was on the ice.  Can’t remember now, but there had to have been a TV timeout factored in there somewhere.  On this shift, he moves into the slot area with his stick coiled, but Gerber freezes the puck before it can get to Number 8.

It appears to these eyes as Ovechkin’s (and most everyone, with the notable expection of Mike Green) shifts are getting shorter as the third period progresses.

As for Washington defenceman Mike Green, I’ve heard and read the hype for the entire season, so it was also a delight to finally see Number 52 in action.  He’s everywhere, and he’s fast.  Green is a rover, and against a team like the Maple Leafs, he’s able to rocket safely back into position after one of his many forays’s deep into enemy territory.  No doubt other games he occasionally gets caught out of position, but the rewards far outweigh the risks.  Thank goodness he plays for a team, and a coach, that permits him to fully utilize his formidable skill set.  Green is a delight to watch.

9:17 pm – SHIFT #18.  Ovechkin chops at (on?) defenceman Jeff Finger in the Leafs’ zone.  Nothing to see here, move along.

9:21 pm – SHIFT #19.  Ovechkin takes a feed and gets off a nice shot that’s either just wide of the top left post behind Gerber, or hits a piece of the goaltender, and goes wide.  It happens so fast, I don’t know, and I don’t have the benefit to replay where I’m sitting.  Ovechkin has a lightning-fast shot.  During the same shift, he falls down deep in the Toronto zone, but still manages to pass the puck towards the slot.

WIth less than three minutes left, the Capitals come as close as a team can to scoring without actually lighting the lamp.  Somehow, Gerber keeps the puck out of his net.

And, as we all know, for TV hockey commentators will remind us each and every time, when that happens…

…the other team comes back and scores.

Well, first, John Erskine gets nabbed for hooking with 2:26 left in the third.

Toronto goes on the powerplay, and wIth 2:36 left to play, Pavel Kubina’s slapshot from the point finds its way into the back of the net.  The puck goes through the legs of Theodore, who had some traffic in front of him.  Typical NHL goal.  2-1 Maple Leafs.  The crowd finally appears to be fully awake.

We all had no idea what was in store for us mere moments away.

9:25 pm – SHIFT #20.  OVechkin sets up behind the Leafs’ goal, not in a Gretzky Office sort of way, but just because that’s where the puck is for the longest time.

With just over a minute left to play, Boudreau elects to pull Theodore.  It leads to almost immediate dividends, as the Caps push the equalizer past Gerber.  2-2 tie with 57 seconds left on the clock. Brooks Laich, who I understand is the extra attacker, gets the goal.  Ovechkin picks up an assist.

A hotly debated goal, at least by Leafs’ netminder Martin Gerber, who in his Curtis Joseph-like zeal to get to the offending referee and make his objections known, gets a little too physically friendly with ref Mike Leggo, and then proceeds to shoot the puck in the direction of the officials, though I have to admit, I didn’t see that infraction occur.

Doesn’t matter.  The officials did, and after assuring all that the goal stands, they hand Gerber a ten-minute misconduct, and he is asked to retire to the splendour of the dressing room for the remainer of the game.

Which means a cold Curtis Joseph, with a big grin on his face, is pressed into action.  After sitting at the end of the Maple Leafs’ bench for the past 59 minutes and three seconds of the game.  Scarfing down hotdogs.

Okay, maybe not, but Cujo couldn’t be any colder than when Toronto head coach Ron Wilson elected to use him in the shootout earlier this season instead of Vesa Toskala, and that turned out very badly for the Leafs.  No doubt the Capitals were licking their chops.

When the Washington goal is announced, the A.C.C. crowd boos very loudly.  They are finally into this game, though to be fair, there wasn’t much of a game to be into for most of the night.

SHIFT #21.  Curtis Joseph stones Ovechkin on a one-timer with 10 seconds left on the clock. The place erupts.  Ovechkin makes a face like he thought he should have had that one.   Probably everyone else in the joint thought he was going to connect, as well.  We head to overtime.

9:31 pm – SHIFT #22.  Ovechkin wasn’t on the ice to start the first, second or third period, but he’s out there to start the extra frame.  4-on-4.  Plenty of room for the Capitals’ predators.  He makes a nice rush up the ice, and sets up Mike Green in the slot, but Joseph is square to the puck, and stops it.

9:34 pm – SHIFT #23.  Ovechkin gets in a few rather light slashes at Alexei Ponikarovsky.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

9:36 pm – SHIFT #24. First off, the official NHL game sheet has Ovechkin having only 23 shifts, so somehow I’ve got him taking an extra shift.  The NHL stats guys know what they’re doing, but since this is how I tracked the game, I’m going with this phantom Shift 24, just to I don’t have to go back and figure out how I screwed up the math.

Regardless, Ovechkin helps draw a Pavel Kubina hooking penalty with 52. 3 seconds left in overtime.  During the 4-on-3, Ovechkin can’t keep the puck in the zone, but the Caps regroup quickly and regain the zone.  Once again, Joseph stones Ovechkin in the slot, and the A.C.C. crowd parties like it’s 1999.  We head to the shootout.

I’ve only seen one previous NHL shootout live, and it was that game where coach Wilson had Joseph come out of the bullpen for Toskala.  Doubt there will be the same result tonight, as Cujo has been at the top of his game in his less than six minutes of service.

Toronto elects to shoot first, which I think is almost always the best move for the home team.  Noted sniper Jeff Hamilton starts things, and damn if he doesn’t bury it.

That would be the only goal of the skills competition, as Theodore shuts the door on Blake and Mitchell.

As for Joseph, he stops Backstrom and Semin shoots wide, which sets up Alexander Ovechkin against Curtis Joseph.  Either Ovechin ties the game, or Joseph is elected mayor of Toronto.

The crowd is completely into the affair by now, whipped into a frenzy by their distate for the tying goal, and by the huge saves by Joseph.  The boos cascade around the building as Ovechkin sets himself at centre ice.  It’s a delicious piece of theatre, the game distilled down into this solitary encounter.  It’s the shootout as its best.

Ovechkin gets the signal, and moves in on Joseph.  Cujo goes down a bit early, and maybe guesses on the shot, but Ovechkin can’t find the handle, and as he moves to his right with the puck, rapidly running out of room, the crowd roars as it anticipates that this game is over.

Which it is.  3-2 Toronto.  58 minutes of mostly subpar hockey, with a few exceptions.  It’s the last two minutes, and all the extra activities, that have people talking.

The three stars reflect the peculiar nature of this game.  Oreskovic gets the third star, a homer call, thanks to his first NHL goal.

Mike Green gets the second star, and for good reason.  He was everywhere, registering 10 shots and was on the ice for 30 shifts, totalling 29 minutes and 7 seconds.  This man earns his pay.

Curtis Joseph is awarded the gold star, and even though he was only out there for the last chapter of the game, he earned it.  Former NHL goaltender and current broadcaster Greg Millen was sitting about three seats to my left, and I heard him loudly proclaim as he left the press box, that he’d never seen anything like it in all his years in hockey, a goaltender getting the first star for what was basically a one-inning relief appearance.

As for Alexander Ovechkin, the superstar ended the evening with a goal and an assist.  The goal was a powerplay marker, and the assist picked him up a plus one rating for the night.  He was on the ice for 23 shifts, for an average of a minute and one second per shift.  Ovechkin totalled 23:27 in ice time overall, and took 7 shots.

He was pretty much everything he’s advertised to be.  All eyes were on him whenever he took to the ice.  The game overall, save the last six minutes, was a dud, but one always had the feeling that at any time, given just an inch, Ovechkin would explode and fill the net with pucks.

23 shifts.

A player worth paying to watch.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

The wonders that a little overcooked Ovechkin goal celebration will do.

Thanks to his too-hot-to-handle 50th goal celebration the other night, the likes of the esteemed Thomas Boswell have seen fit to wade into the fray and comment about the game of hockey.

Boswell is a well-respected sports journalist, and the author of one of my favourite tomes on the great game of baseball, “Why Time Begins On Opening Day”.

Apparently he has a new book in the works, “Why The NHL began with Alexander Ovechkin”.

And maybe it did.  Maybe the creative, hot-dogging talents of the Russian sniper are what the league has been sorely lacking.

Ovechkin’s antics in Tampa no doubt made a number of sports highlight shows across the United States, which may have been the first time some of these programs lowered themselves to talk about hockey, other than when they get atop their moral high horse and show the shocked masses a hockey fight.

American hockey fans are as passionate and as knowledgeable about the game of hockey as any Canadian fan is, and they’d be the first to tell you that the overall coverage of the game is spotty, at best, in the lower 48.

Up here in the Great White North, one gets a sense of that when listening in to ESPN All-Night, which delves into detailed breakdowns of everything pertaining to football, baseball, basketball, college football, and college basketball, but offers nary a word about hockey.  And since one can’t listen to the program all the time, if they have done a segment or two on hockey, it pales in comparison to the coverage of those other sports.

And that’s the way it should be.  ESPN would go out of business fast if they didn’t tailor-make their program to suit the tastes of their audience.  For that same reason, TSN up here in Canada doesn’t devote a large part of their updates to cricket, even though there’s a growing, passionate audience for the sport in this country.

The plight of the American hockey fan is further underscored by the patchwork of cable television access to the Centre Ice package and the NHL Network.  Having manned the phones for the call-in portion of the NHL Hour with Commissioner Gary Bettman here on the NHL Home Ice, I know first-hand the constant frustration that U.S. fans have with gaining access to these services they are eager to pay for.

Depending on the market, some have the services, while others are patiently waiting, even though that wait appears to have no end.

Maybe the theatrics of AO is enough to convince those broadcast barons still holding out that NHL hockey is enough of a money-maker for them to include it in their overpriced, watered-down cable bundle.  The NHL will never come close to equaling the other major U.S. pro sports, but so what.  It is a niche product, one that appears to still be growing, and if handled properly, there’s money in dem der hills.

So, as Thomas Boswell basically writes in his column today in the Washington Post, the fans of the NHL should be rejoicing in the rejoicing of Ovechkin.  Time to drop the conservatism that has shrouded this league for years, and get with the other big time sports.  Time to act like you haven’t been in the endzone before.

What irks me is not Ovechkin and his pretty slamdances into the glass after a goal, or his Jimi Hendrix impersonation the other night.  I can live with it, though I don’t believe that all his celebrations are unplanned.  I’m not a Washington fan, so while I appreciate the beauty of most of his goals, I’m not cheering for the guy.  Yes, he’s good for hockey, but he’s not hockey.  Bobby Orr wasn’t hockey, neither was Wayne Gretzky.

What does irk me is two-fold.

First off, is the defensive reaction of a large contingent of Washington Capitals fans who believe that Ovechkin is above criticism.  Now granted, having motor-mouth Don Cherry take on Ovechkin does make one want to circle the Ovechkin wagons as well, but one has to rise above such pettiness.

Ovechkin is one of the true superstars currently at work in the National Hockey League, one of the few players people will pay good money to watch, even if they’re marginal hockey fans.  Regardless, he is still a member of the Washington Capitals, not the Harlem Globetrotters.  The opposition is, well, it could be the Lightning, or the Thrashers or the Rangers, they’re not the Washington Generals.

It’s alright for opposing fans to boo the guy.  It doesn’t mean they’re bums, or have no class, or don’t understand the game of hockey, or don’t appreciate what a stud like Ovechkin brings to the sport.  Rather, it means that they are fans of their home team.

Don’t worry that Thomas Boswell, or Boomer Gordon, or Elliott Friedman, or even Mick Kern, tells you otherwise.  You are the fan.  You paid your money.  You decide how you should react.  Well, outside of acts of violence.  Oh, and please keep your shirts on, fat guys.  Someone might get hurt.

The world is not the same as it was in 1950, or 1960, or 1985, and thank goodness for that, and the culture of hockey reflects these mostly positive changes.  Still, within the very matrix of the game we all love so very much, there beats the heart of some simple truths, be they actual facts or dearly held on to beliefs.  At some point, the line blurs between the two distinctions.

Hockey is a sporting culture onto itself within North America sport.  Its true sporting cousin may be Australian rugby, more so than any pampered American past-time.  To equate how hockey players should behave in relation to players in the NFL or MLB or the MBA is to miss the point by a wide margin.

Sports, to a large degree, is an everyday, peacetime substitute for the tribalism that still pulls at every person’s heart.  Us against them.  We’re better than you.  You’re not one of us.  It’s in your DNA.

Hockey, in some part due to its marginal place at the table when it comes to media attention on this continent, has taken this outsider’s status and has made it a part of its identity.

We don’t need ESPN or USA Today or ABC or the Washington Times to acknowledge our greatness, or even our very existence.  The game of hockey, meaning all the players at every level, and the coaches, and fans, and hockey moms and dads, and all the support staff, we know who we are, and we’re more than alright with that.

Which may explain why fighting, despite all evidence to the contrary, remains near-and-dear to most hockey fans on both sides of the border.  The very fact that a game of hockey can be disrupted at any point by (at least) two men fighting is, on first, and second, and even third glance, highly anachronistic.

It can’t logically be defended, and even the most zealot supporters of fighting in hockey usually fall back on well-worn clilches to justify its continual existence in the game.

Yet, like so very much of this game, regardless of where you personally stand on fighting (and I, for one, wouldn’t miss it if it disappeared tomorrow), fighting is a key part of the mosaic that makes up hockey, a game that is so passionately loved by its fans for daring to swim against the tide in today’s streamlined, edges-sanded-down society we have molded for ourselves.

While it’s not the only dangerous sport out there (auto racing comes to mind, as does facing a heater at home plate, as does facing a blitzing linebacker), the very nature of this sanguine sport sets it apart from every other sport on this continent.

It’s played at a very high tempo, they wear blades, they carry sticks, they are encouraged to hit one another, they fire a virtual bullet around the unforgiving ice, and there’s boards to contain all this, no real out-of-bounds, unless the puck goes over those boards.

There is nowhere to hide out there.  Hockey exposes you.  Its very disposition is one of violation.  Hockey is inherently a violent game, and no amount of rule changes, and equipment tweaks, and philosophical discussions is going to alter that fact.

Which brings me back to Thomas Boswell, and the almost paternalistic tone his article takes regarding some of the negative reaction to Ovechkin’s on-ice antics, and the second thing that irks me about this whole affair.

The arguments in favour of Ovechkin celebrating goals in this fashion are persuasive.  The NHL does need to inject some colour into its players, who are its greatest asset, yet are often hidden behind helmets and visors and over-protective PR departments who act as though they’re pertrified that one of these guys might actually say something quotable.

When Ovechkin puts the celebratory cherry on top of the ice-cream sundae goal he just scored, he will garner attention, even in U.S. media outlets who couldn’t be bothered to throw the NHL a few scraps of bread at the best of times.

That’s all fine.

What irks me is the likes of Boswell scolding the hockey fans/media/establishment who either do not care for the antics of Ovechkin, or have no problem with them, but would rather he do it sparingly.

Such theatrics are not a part of the culture of hockey.  Oh sure, Tiger WIlliams rode his stick a couple of times, and Theo Fleury slid across the ice after that big goal, and others probably did the Funky Chicken, for all we know, but overall, the culture of hockey has always been about Team, not Player.

It’s part of why hockey fans, whether American or Canadian, bleed the sport when cut.

It’s about shared identity with the group, it’s about the others in the foxhole.  The NFL comes closest to matching that, but even then, the wide receivers, and running backs, and quarterbacks, and the odd superstar linebacker, pull against that collective.

Hockey is about Us, not Me.

And while Ovechkin is just as likely to do his happy dance when one of his teammates scores, he still manages to pull the spotlight towards his antics.  Nothing wrong with that, and after all, there are different unwritten rules for superstars, but I really doubt that new people, who have shunned the sport for years, are suddenly going to watch the NHL just because Ovechkin likes to jump around after a goal.

Most hockey fans, with the obvious exception of supporters of the Washington Capitals, understand that some players in the league will have a problem with Ovechkin’s theatrics.  These same hockey fans will also understand that such differences have a way of being settled, which doesn’t have to mean fisticuffs, but the on-ice frontier justice has always been a part of the game, even though it logically cannot be defended.

A hockey fan understands that reality, whether they approve of the goal celebrations or not.  An outsider does not.

The outsider is correct in questioning such archaic thinking, but then again, they haven’t been baptised yet.

Hockey fans shouldn’t worry about the arrogance of Thomas Boswell, attempting to shame us into grafting onto hockey the culture of the other big money sports in America, though I have a feeling the NHL head offices in New York would be all for that integration into the sporting mainstream.  After all, that can only mean more money.

Yet, if anything, over the years, NHL hockey has managed to survive the actual NHL.  The small-minded dictatorship of the Norris Family and Clarence Campbell.  The bumblings of the likes of Gil Stein.  The misguided notions of league grandeur and phantom network TV contracts of Gary Bettman.  The crimes of Alan Eagleson, and the scorched Earth policies of the likes of Bob Goodenow.

Somehow, the actual game continues to thrive, thankfully with rules changes now-and-again to correct its course.

Hockey is different from every other big sport in North America.

Mr. Boswell, stick to baseball.

What you write about that game connects me with a sport that is my favourite.  And as a Canadian, even though the game of baseball has deep roots in this country, I will always remain just outside the lines when it comes to truly being a part of that culture.  Your books, and articles, allow me a glimpse into that world, one I wish I had been born into.

While baseball is my favourite sport, hockey is my religion.  It’s in my blood, so much so that it continually calls me back, even when I try to deny its pull.

It’s all around me, on a constant basis.  Every month of the year.  There is no off-season for hockey in Canada.

Hockey is Canada, even though only about 3 million people may watch Hockey Night In Canada on any given Saturday night.  Even though, particularly with a changing demographic, less and less people have suited up and played it.

That may matter forty, fifty years from now, but not right now.  Hockey is Canada, and Hockey is also specific parts of the United States, just as much.  But only certain parts.

While it’s great that the game is in markets such as Washington, D.C., and Nashville, and Atlanta, and Phoenix, and Dallas, it’ll never, NEVER, have the same resonance that it has in Edmonton, or Winnipeg, or Montreal, or Halifax, or Saskatoon, or Moose Jaw, or Toronto, or Glace Bay.

Or in Detriot, or the state of Minnesota, or New Hampshire, or Vermont, etc.

So on behalf of the so-called “hockey purists” you dismiss in your article, I’m going to trump you, Mr. Boswell, and ask you to keep your professorial musings about the game of hockey to yourself.

Ryan Malone isn’t a moron, as your article claims.

Ryan Malone understands how hockey works.  You don’t.

Hockey ain’t baseball or football.  Somehow, someway, even in today’s video game society, hockey is purer.  Not by much, but by enough.

And that is something you’ll never understand.

Leave my game alone.

I appreciate it.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

So I’m reading Sports Illustrated on the long subway ride home, when I come across this small article about the San Francisco Giants of the National League, and how they’re going to unveil something they’re calling “dynamic ticket pricing” for the upcoming baseball season.

Which basically means this…depending on some complex algorithm that was developed by a couple of eggheads from the University of Texas, 2,000 of the least-desirable tickets way up in the nosebleeds will be sold are varying prices, depending on what formula the computer spits out after considering 20 variables.

And those variables include what team the Giants are playing, the weather, who’s pitching that game, how fresh the hot dogs are, and whether-or-not Barry Bonds has been jailed.

According to SI, that means the cheapest 7 dollar ticket could suddenly be had for, say, 12 dollars, or, the most expensive cheapest ticket, normally yours for a mere 30 dollars, could rise as high as 80 bucks.  Well, not right away.  The tickets could only fluctuate 50 cents per day.

Meaning, the suddenly poverty-stricken Giants could reap an additional $810,000 in ticket revenue this upcoming season.

(Which they’ll probably squander on some burnt-out, steroid-laden pitcher who’s released at mid-season).

Good plan.  If, of course, anyone even wants these tickets in the first place.  The Giants didn’t exactly set the NL on fire last season, though they are expected to be much better in 2009.

Why this relates to hockey is obvious; anything pro sports teams can do to squeeze a few extra bucks out of sports-mad fans, well, the other teams will fall over themselves rushing to copy each other.

Remember personal seat licenses?  One of the most disgusting concepts in the long-rotten history of attempting to fleece the consumer.

Let’s see.  You pay us for the season tickets to watch the Amityville Horrors.  But…first…you have to pay us just for the right to buy those season tickets.

But get this…that seat, the one your oversized bum will settle in for 81 painful home games?  That seat is now YOURS!!!!

You can’t rip it up and take it with you after the season is over, or paint it your favourite colour, but you could sell the rights to putting your butt in that seat to someone else.

See, creative capitalism can be fun!

Here in Toronto, the Maple Leafs have rarely had a problem selling tickets in Maple Leaf Gardens or the Air Canada Centre, though the myth of every ticket being sold for decades is exactly that, a myth.  During some of the franchises darker days in the mid-80’s, larger-than-life owner Harold Ballard was known for buying up some of the unsold seats himself, in order to keep that myth alive.

Regardless, the Leafs are a tough ticket.  Even though the team recently alluded to the fact even they’ve been somewhat impacted by the tough economic times gripping the globe, the franchise is in no danger of having to hold a fire sale, and moving to Kitchener-Waterloo.

Their sporting neighbors across the way, the once-proud Toronto Blue Jays, cannot say the same thing.  During their heyday’s of the early 90’s, the Jays won back-to-back World Series Championships, scooped up most of the glitzy free agents, and were the first MLB team to draw over 4 million fans to their ballpark in one season.

It seemed like the good times would never end, and the franchise developed an arrogance that took them years to shed, even after the party had been over for a while.

Now, the team regularly papers the house, and they’re one of many MLB franchises that have gone the route of variable pricing for their home games.

For instance, everyone knows the New York Yankees, and the Boston Red Sox, always attract more fans, whether they be from out-of-town/out-of-country, or merely curious Torontonians who don’t really care about baseball, but wanna gawk at A-Rod and Jeter.

So, most of them folk won’t mind, or even notice, if their tickets are jacked up, say, 10 extra dollars for these “premium” games.

And why stop there?  Everyone knows that Opening Day is one of the time-honoured Rites of Spring; any team is practically guaranteed to pack the house.  Heck, the Montreal Expos even were able to coerce 40,000 souls to show up for Opening Day, only to see attendence settle back into the 5,000-7,500 range for the next two games of the same series.

So, a team raises the price for the Yanks, and the Bosox, and Opening Day, and, saaaaay, what about Saturday and Sunday afternoon games?

You know the ones that families can actually get to with their brood?  They’re probably good for the additional money, because most families won’t be attending weekdays games that might end at 10:20 pm, if they’re lucky.

Throw into that mix whatever team is the “hot” team that year (the Angels?  interleague games against the Philllies?), and presto, you have just created for your team additional revenue sources without doing a darn thing.

Brilliant.

If…people actually buy the tickets.

You see, that’s the thing.  Regardless of price, people still have to want to attend your event.  You could offer me Toronto Raptor tickets in the nosebleeds for 10 bucks a pop, and I might take my young son with me to see a game or two, but that’s the extend of my interest.  It would be a novelty.  I care not a bit for basketball, and affordable tickets will not change my mind.

It might work with those that have never been exposed to a game, say, like NHL hockey, in what we all call non-traditional markets, so it might be worth a try.

Cheap tickets, that is.  Just this week, the ever-amusing Tampa Bay Lightning announced really cheap, and I mean, REALLY CHEAP season ticket packages for the 2009-10 season.  And they were widely ridiculed for it, one pundit even comparing the Lighting to a WHA team, which is rather accurate, come to think of it.

I don’t think what the Lightning are doing concerning cheap tickets is a joke, but it contains an inherent risk.  If you greatly devalue your product, in an effort to attract more paying customers, unless you completely hook them, what you’ve effectively done is cheapen your own product, maybe permanently.

If a couple buys 2009-10 season tickets for the Bolts, and actually end up becoming fans of the team, well, unless they’ve got considerable disposable income (which it appears more and more of us don’t have), how will you convince them to upgrade their tickets to a pricing range that will be much more economically beneficial to your team?

You can’t very well turn around and say, okay, next season, these same tickets will have a price increase of 300%.  Or can you?  It all depends on how many people re-up, contrasted with how many give you the middle finger.  Churn, I believe we call it…as in, go sit on a butter churn and rotate.

The Lightning may not have a choice in the matter.  The NHL is very much a gate-driven league.  A couple of people attending a Tuesday night game on cheap tickets, who would have to pay for parking, and overpriced popcorn, and watered-down soft drinks, and maybe an ad-filled program, and if the kids are along, a stupid foam finger ((believe me, we have a couple of them littering our house), and maybe a souvenir puck…well, that’s better than not having those folks pass through your doors.

Other markets can afford not to dance with the discount devil.  In their cases, variable pricing may be exactly what the market can bear.  Because, after all, tickets to a pro sporting event is not a basic human right.  It is a luxury, even if it’s a reasonable price.  It’s the circuses part of Bread and Circuses.  If your local pro sports team prices itself out of the market, and have to leave town or fold, well, yes, it’s sad, because we’re all sports fans, but except for the employees of the team, it’s really not that big of a deal.  Your city will not fold up.  There are other things to do.  Read a book.  Heck, learn to read.

Yes, some would lose their jobs, yet most of the jobs lost would be of the low-paying, low skill set variety.  I’m not suggesting these jobs are not important, but people are not making a decent living off them, and often these jobs are seasonal anyhow.  These low-paying jobs are not reason enough to give public money to pro sports teams.

And here’s the thing pro sports swindlers try to trick you with every time a team threatens to move.  Yes, there are spinoff financial benefits that come with having a pro sports team in your town.  For example, the adjacent restaurants and bars are filled the nights the home team is home, and often when the home team is on the road, so they benefit from having that team remain in place.

But if that pro sports team backs in the Mayflower vans and leave, they’re not taking the community’s money with them.  In some cases, it has been argued, the community actually come out ahead financially, after not having to shell out for sweetheart deals to keep said team in town.

The money that Mom and Dad and kid and sister spent to see the Amnityville Horrors will be spent somewhere else.  Maybe at the movies, or at the hardware store, or at the local arcade, or at whatever other entertainment choices their city boasts.

The pro sports teams does not have a secret vacuum that will suck your money along with them.  Oh sure, some out-of-town visitors won’t drop by to cheer on their team, but when you do the math, more-often-than not, the money spent in order to keep a pro sports team happy, is not made up by this out-of-town revenue.

It’s the same thing when teams argue that public money should be used to fully or partially fund the building of a new arena, or ballpark, or football field.  “Think of all the concerts that’ll come to town and the money they’ll generate”.  That’s a common line.

Yeah, money for other people.  These carpetbaggers can convince me if they were to argue sports is part of the city’s culture, as important as the ballet, or the symphony, or even a museum, and I’m willing to swallow that.  But it’s always interesting to watch staunch capitalists turn into cultural socialists overnight if it means they can tap into public funds.  It’s so blatant, it’s shameful, yet it continues.

Did Springfield really need a Monorail?

Want a evocative sports read?  Then pick up a copy of Field of Schemes by Joanna Cagan and Neil deMause.  They throughly deconstruct the simple-minded arguments that a city gains financially by giving into the demands of a caterwauling sports team.  It’s worthy reading, particularly in these times when so many common folk (meaning you and me and most of us) are worried losing their jobs, and keeping their house.

With that in mind, it made for great reading last month when one of the bigwigs of the New York Yankees wrote a newspaper piece on why public money was not wasted when it was poured into the new playpen for the Bronx Bombers.  It read much like the propaganda from the mid-90’s that attempted to convince people that personal seat licenses were a liberating thing for sports fans, not a cash grab by greedy owners who know a cash cow when they see one.

Sure, the civic pride takes a bit of a hit when a big league team pulls up stakes.  Here in Toronto, only Canada’s largest city, and one of the major media markets in North America, the same cast of characters continually talk of “putting Toronto on the map” by chasing after big money dreams like the Olympics, or the NFL.  And, you’ll notice, most of these folk who dream these impossible dreams want to use your money to fund their dream…and then they’ll sell it back to you as “Our Dream”.

It’s called bribing you with your own money.  And sadly, it usually works.

(In that case, you’re damn right it’s a basic human right to get tickets to the Opening Ceremonies or the Gold Medal Game; after all, my tax money paid for it).

So now that we’ve established that attending pro sporting events is not a human right, why should any of us care what a particular team wants to charge for a ticket?  They can be shortsighted and price themselves out of the market, or they can be shortsighted and devalue their product in a desperate attempt to get you to go out with them.

But I have a suggestion to add to what the San Francisco Giants, and no doubt other teams, are going to do this year.

The variable pricing model?  Why stop at pre-game pricing?

How about in-game variable pricing?

Let’s take what I’m calling the Kern Kash (C) model and apply it to pro hockey.

Before the game starts, we’ll copy what the Giants are doing, and come up with some 20-point checklist to determine how much a ticket for a specific game should cost.  For example, here are some of the factors we’ll weight before determing how much you’ll have to fork over for a ticket:

- where is the seat located?

- how close is it to a washroom?

- how close is it to a clean washroom?

- will “Wally The Beer Guy” show up more than once-a-game?

- who’s the opponent that night?

- weekend or weeknight game?

- pleasant or terrible weather outside?

- who are the starting goaltenders?

- is Pierre McGuire between-the-benches that night?  (that’s good for an extra 5 bucks a ticket)

- who’s singing the National Anthem(s)?

- do fans promise not to do The Wave?

For argument’s sake, let’s say the Amnityville Ice Dogs are playing the visiting Hartford Jets.  The Jets are second in the division, and are starting hot-shot rookie goalie Scary Price in net.  Factor all that together, and your second-level blue-line ticket will cost your 85 dollars.

But wait!  Here’s where the Kern Kash (C) model gets interesting.  Depending on how the game unfolds, and how other in-game experiences go, you either will be refunded a portion of your initial ticket price, or will have your credit card charged for an additional fee, when you leave the arena that night.

But never more than 10 dollars either way.  Trust me, though, as the priniciple owner of the Ice Dogs, I’ll make sure we collect more than we refund; after all, this is a business.

After the first period, the Jets hold a 3-1 lead, thanks in part to a shorthanded goal by 58-year-old Claude Lemieux, attempting yet another comeback.

Since the home team is playing poorly, all ticket holders in the variable pricing areas of the arena are immediately credited with 5 dollars.

Halfway through the second period, some drunk in Section B spills his beer all over seats 1-5 in row 14.  These good folk are credited an additional 5 bucks, keeping in mind this part of the promotion might be swiftly discontinued when fans clue into the fact that spilling your beer, on purpose, on the good folk in front of you, will lower ticket prices.

Then again, REAL fans would never spill their beer.  Even our watered-down swill.

Third period is underway.  Goaltender Scary Price is sensational, stoning the home team, and the visiting Jets win 5-1.

Now, normally, the home team losing would be a bad thing, and everyone is attendence would receive a two-dollar credit, but tonight, the opposing goaltender is an emerging superstar, and you were lucky enough to see him turn in a virtuoso performance, and such artistry has a price, so everyone in attendence now owes an additional ten dollars on their ticket.

Which means your 85 dollar ticket that you bought to enter the Ice Dog House will now end up costing you 90 dollars, unless you were doused with beer.  Oh, and Pierrre McGuire was between-the-benches, so that’s 95 buckets, buddy, and be thankful it was only that much.  Don’t you know we have a ticket waiting list 25 years long?

Now that would truly be variable pricing.  Let the market bear what the market can afford, but on a period-by-period basis.

And, of course, every game will be on the club-owned pay-per-view cable station.

And, if you don’t like it, keep this in mind.

You don’t have to buy a ticket.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

After missing about a week of hockey, thanks to the Great Basement Flood of Oh-Nine, I was finally able to plug back in the HDTV widescreen on Monday evening, and get back into the Coolest Game on Ice, or is that The Fastest Game On Earth, or whatever we’re calling it these days.

Started with the Dallas Stars tangling with the feisty Columbus Blue Jackets.  Those dudes from Ohio, that well-known Western state, apparently are genuine in their efforts to make the NHL post-season for the first time in their relatively short history.

The hometown Blue Jackets poured shot-after-shot at Marty Turco, but the trouble was, this was vintage Marty Turco in net, not the imposter from earlier this season.  Turco made some fantastic saves, and the Stars emerged with the 3-2 win in the shootout, though Brad Richards left the game in the second period with what appeared to be a wrist injury.

Next flipped over to the suddenly firewagon Atlanta Thrashers in L.A. to take on the Kings.  Atlanta are too far out in the East to seriously make a run for a playoff spot, but you never know, particularly with the way Ilya Kovalchuk has been finding the back-of-the-net lately.  The Kings, however, are in a race for the bottom end of the Western Conference post-season invites, and every game will be huge here on in.

Well, it didn’t start that way for the Kings.  The Thrashers pumped three goals quickly past Jonathan Quick, building up a 3-0 lead only 7 1/2 minutes into the game.  Quick found the end of the bench, and Erik Ersberg took over between-the-pipes.

I was tempted to abandon this matchup, and turn my attention to the Oilers and Coyotes; in fact, I quickly checked that game out, before returning my attention to Southern California.

Maybe the Hockey Gods whispered in my ear, but it turned out to be a wise choice.  The Kings finally got on the board, only to see Atlanta answer back 33 seconds later.  L.A. got one more before the end of the first.

After 20 minutes, this game already had six goals, a fight, a goaltending change, a big lead by the road team, the start of a comeback by the home team, and all that with at least 40 minutes to play.

The Kings would outshoot the Thrashers 45-27 in the game, but more pointedly, L.A. outshot the visitors 34-13 in the second and third period combined.

Ersberg made a number of great saves, while Hedberg held his own when he was called upon.  There were nice goals, shorthanded goals, powerplay goals, video replays, and playoff-type tension as the third period wound down.

The Kings fought back from a 6-3 deficit and tied things up with a powerplay marker, and the goaltender yanked, with only five seconds remaining, on a nice goal by Anze Kopitar, who was able to corral a rebound, and had the presence-of-mind, and a boatload of talent, to step back and set himself properly before burying the puck.

I didn’t have a rooting interest in this game, so what I wanted to see was an entertaining hockey game, and both the Thrashers and the Kings delivered that on Monday evening.  Eventually, Atlanta would win 7-6 in the shootout, denying the Kings that vital second point.

Kings’ fans experienced a bittersweet evening of hockey.  They were five seconds away from losing, but at this stage in the season, they really needed that second point as well.

After three-and-a-half seasons, I’m still not totally sold on deciding regular-season games by the shootout, but I recognize the drama that comes with it, and on Monday night, it seemed only fitting that a game such as this would be decided in this manner.   Last man standing.

And the fans were standing.

Sure, three periods of high-tempo overtime would have been preferable, but we know that’s only going to occur during the playoffs.

The Thrashers-Kings game had a bit of everything, but mostly, it was fun to watch.  Credit to the Thrashers for not sitting back when they had the three-goal lead.  It almost cost them that second point, but they won my respect.  Head coach John Anderson and his troops made the game enjoyable to watch, and even though you’ll often hear that tired old “just win, baby” saying that I believe came from the mouth of Al Davis, more importantly, the Thrashers went instead with “let us entertain you”.

After all, sports is entertainment, and if it ain’t entertaining, people will find something else to do with their money, particuarly in these times.

Encore, encore!

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s

Thursday night at the Shark Tank, the mighty Sharks were holding on to a 3-2 lead against the Hurricanes halfway through the third period, when Matt Cullen made a beauty of a backhand pass across the slot to Ray Whitney, who buried it.  It was Whitney’s 17th goal this season.

Carolina would go on to win the game 4-3 in the shootout, but what caught my eye was The Little Engine That Could…and Still Does.

Ray Whitney.

Okay, I knew that he still played in the league, so it wasn’t a surprise to see him score a goal, but every time he lights the lamp, I’m reminded of this talented player, who has been around the league since, well, it seems time immortal.

In reality, Whitney has been in the NHL since the San Jose Sharks took him in the second round of the 1991 Entry Draft.  Their first selection had been Pat Falloon, and the two young guns were held up as the future of the young Sharks.

It didn’t exactly play out that way.  Falloon, who was the second overall player chosen, after phenom Eric Lindros, played 575 career NHL games, suiting up for the Sharks, Flyers, Senators, Oilers and Penguins.  His high-water mark was his rookie season, when he scored 25 goals and added 34 assists.  For a number of reasons, Falloon only had one more 20-goal season in his nine-year NHL career.  He ended up with 143 goals and 322 points in those 575 games, a far cry from what had been expected of him.

But there I go…an article about Ray Whitney, and it detours into an examination of the career of Pat Falloon.

Both players were teammates with the WHL Spokane Chiefs for three seasons, and each one led the team in scoring for a year.  It seemed a perfect fit that both would be drafted by the Sharks, though to many, Falloon was considered the better prospect.

Whitney was chosen 23rd overall that year, the first player taken in the second round.  Players chosen before him include Scott Lachance (4th overall by the Islanders), Alek Stojanov (6th by Vancouver), Brent Bilodeau (17th overall by Montreal), and Trevor Halverson (21st overall by Washington).  Halverson got into 17 career NHL games while Bilodeau never made the big leagues.

1991 was considered a pretty strong draft class, yet a number of teams decided to pass on Whitney.  While any draft is a crapshoot, Whitney put up strong offensive numbers with the Chiefs.   He led Spokane with a whopping 185 points ( 67 goals-118 assists) in 72 games in his final year of junior, while Falloon put up 138 points in only 61 games.   Whitney’s efforts garnered him the MVP for the WHL.

Both players had amazing years, and Spokane went on to win the Memorial Cup that season.  Whitney still holds the club record for assists and points in one season.

So why was Falloon favoured over Whitney?  They’re both small men in a big man’s game; Whitney standing 5 feet 10 inches, while Falloon towered over him at 5 feet 11 inches.

Whitney had to play 10 games in a German league before spending most of his rookie pro season with the San Diego Gulls of the IHL.

The former stick boy for the Edmonton Oilers obviously had some of that offensive magic rub off on him.  After Thurday night’s win in San Jose, Whitney has played in 962 regular season NHL games, and has scored 295 goals and added 481 assists for 776 points.

In addition, Whitney has 32 points in 65 NHL playoff games, and was a member of the 2005-06 Stanley Cup Chamption Carolina Hurricanes.  During that run, Whitney played in 24 games and scored 9 goals and 6 assists.

While these numbers are not Hall-of-Fame calibre, they speak of a long and productive career.  Seven times he’s cracked the 20-goal plateau, and is well on pace to do it again this year.  Whitney’s career high was 32 goals with the 97-98 Florida Panthers; he also had one with Edmonton that season, for a career season high of 33 goals.

And that was during the dead puck era.  If anything, the hockey played since the lost season of 04-05 should favour a player of Whitney’s size and abilities, and it appeares it has.  Since the lockout, Whitney has put up 55 points in 63 games, 83 points in 81 games, 61 points in 66 games, and, so far, 42 points in 52 games.

The gentleman is a point producer.  No, he will never challenge for the Art Ross Trophy, but talk about secondary scoring.  Whitney is a reliable offensive player.  Ask the Sharks.  His goal on Thursday ran his total to 10 goals and 10 assists in 20 career games against his former team.

Whitney is currently in his 17th NHL season, though he only got into two games during the 1991-92 campaign in San Jose (and still had 3 assists).  He’s played for six teams (San Jose, Edmonton, Florida, Columbus, Detroit and Carolina), though the bulk of his playing time has been divided between the Sharks, Blue Jackets and Hurricanes.

The Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta native got to wear the colours of his beloved Edmonton Oilers for only 9 games during the 97-98 season (1 goal-3 assists), but hockey fans further south in Wild Rose Country no doubt remember Whitney.

May 19th, 1995.  It was his goal in double-overtime in Game Seven that enabled the Sharks to upend the Calgary Flames 5-4.  That was the year where the league experienced another work stoppage, and teams played a 48-game regular season sked.  The fourth-year Sharks had 42 points, while the Flames took first place in the Pacific Division with 55 points, and were expected to go far that spring.

Whitney and the Sharks saw to it that the Flames playoff woes continued.  Calgary lost in the first-round the next season as well, and then missed the playoffs for seven straight years before their run to the Cup Final in 2003-04 against the Tampa Bay Lightning.

As for Whitney, after that big goal, he played 60 games the next season in Northern California before splitting the 1996-97 season between the big club and Utah in the IHL and Kentucky in the AHL.  It was time for him to move on.

After that brief cup-of-coffee in Edmonton, Whitney’s career really took off when he was claimed on waivers by the Florida Panthers, where he scored those 32 goals in 97-98.  I recall that many of us at the time were surprised that Whitney reached such numbers; we had basically written him off.

Yet eleven years later, he continues to roll on, putting up the numbers, and finally getting his name on the Stanley Cup.

- Mick Kern

Mick Kern appears courtesy of Live From Wayne Gretzky’s